Theories on Housekeeping with Twins

Sweeping: if you wait long enough, the dust forms itself into a dust bunny and then you can just pick it up and throw it away.

Buttermilk Oatmeal Pancakes - toddler friendly!

These were a big hit with the girls. They're adapted from a recipe in the original Laurel's Kitchen cookbook - one that I grew up with.

Buttermilk Oatmeal Pancakes
1-1/4 cups buttermilk
1 cup quick oats

1 tablespoon canola oil
2 eggs, beaten
2 teaspoons vanilla

1/2 cup flour (can use whole wheat)
1 heaping tablespoon brown sugar
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon salt

Combine the buttermilk and oats in a bowl and let stand at least 5 minutes.

Add the oil and beaten eggs and vanilla, mixing well. Stir in the flour, sugar, baking powder and salt. mix just until the dry ingredients are moistened.

Bake on a hot, buttered griddle, using 1/4 - 1/3 cup of batter for each pancake. Turn them when the top is bubbly and the edges are slightly dry.

YUM! We broke them into pieces for the girls but I'm looking forward to the day when we can make the pancakes a little smaller and then just hand the girls a whole one.

A great gift... without leaving the house!

You know those Target ads on TV (at least I think it's Target) where gifts keep giving way to other gifts in a creative, continuous chain? This program is kind of like that, but crunchy. A San Francisco based organization named Kiva allows individuals to give microloans to individuals who are seeking them around the world. So in $25 increments you can give support in someone's name to a dairy farmer in Peru, a food bodega in Lebannon, a clothes seller in Kenya, a bike repairman in Ghana... lots of people and businesses and places to choose from. And then your loan is repaid. At which point you (or in the case of a gift, the gifted) can loan the money to someone else or just withdraw the funds.

My husband's family has a system set up where you only buy one gift for everyone in the extended family and the recipient rotates every year. This year I drew the impossible to buy for relative... you know, the wealthy minimalist. He doesn't want anything, and what he does want he can buy a much nicer version of than we ever could anyway. So we got him two loans on Kiva to individuals whose businesses are in his lines of interest.

And you get updates on the recipient's business and the progress their making (or not making) with their loan, too.

For the duration of the holidays, I'm going to post a banner about their work on this blog.

Four Ears

We had our first brush with an ear infection this weekend. It was unfolding over the past week, but I was oblivious and didn't realize what was going on until our one daughter running a low fever suddenly spiked a 104.5 temp. We had to go to the emergency room and everything.

The thing was she was so calm and playful and didn't show any typical symptoms of an ear ache. I just gave her Tylenol like the nurse at our doctor's office said and didn't think too much of her 100-101 fever. Probably a mild bug. At the hospital, though, they said she actually had one perforated ear drum that had already begun to heal on its own, but the other ear was still infected.

I feel like there was one take-away lesson for other twin parents here. Apparently it should have been a bit of a clue that our other daughter had NO symptoms or fever at all. If it was a bug the girls probably would have shared it, like they do their saliva all over their toys. Next time one has a low fever for 2 days and the other is perfectly healthy, we're going in to see the doc stat!

International Moola, or Hannukah Gelt Cookies my way

This isn’t really about staying green and certainly not about staying sane, but we had a Hannukah party this weekend. It was great fun.


The night before the party I stayed up later than I have in a long time because I actually found myself absorbed in a project that I was enjoying for my own sake. Hannukah Gelt (when I was little for a long time I thought the word was Guilt) sugar cookies decorated with currencies of the world. And here we have the Money Picture…


Currencies above include (clockwise from top): Serbia, dinar; Poland, zlwotych; US (and many other countries), dollar; Uzbekistan and Kazakstan, som; European Union (select countries), euro; South Korea and North Korea, won; Thailand, baht; Afghanistan, afghanis; India, Pakistan (and others), rupees.

For any other money anthropologists out there, here’s the website where I got the symbols.

And finally on the subject of Hannukah Gelt: why does the metal wrapped chocolate stuff always taste like wax? And why do I still eat it??

Sweater swap

Thought this is a cool program:

Banana Republic and Goodwill Industries are giving customers a chance to ‘share the warmth’ while shopping. Holiday shoppers can trade in their gently-worn sweaters at any Banana Republic store in exchange for a 30 percent discount on a regular-priced sweater between December 6 through 12. Donated sweaters will be sold in Goodwill retail stores across the country, and the proceeds will fund Goodwill job training programs that benefit hundreds of thousands of people each year.

But not sure if sweaters that have made it through a year with twins count as just "gently" worn. Forget the spit-up and snot, there's the pilling from baby carrier wearing, too. I realize I've lost all perspective on cleanliness in outerwear after MY mom sent me back in to change what she called a dirty sweater this weekend. I thought it was perfectly fine. Oh well.

Dreaming of a Green Christmas

I just got to do a story about a fun and green holiday topic. There's an organization in San Francisco that will rent families a living tree for the holidays. For $90, Friends of the Urban Forest (FUF) will deliver a living tree to your house and then pick it up after the holidays. You just have to water it and decorate it for about a month. Once it's back in the hands of FUF, they'll grow it a little bigger in their nursery and then plant it somewhere on the streets of an under served neighborhood in San Francisco.

There's more info here:
http://www2.sfenvironment.org/greenchristmas/

The folks at FUF says it's a program that's unique to SF right now, but there's lots of room for other cities to tackle a program like this. And some could probably offer the more traditional looking Christmas trees in their program.

Toy-less play

Sometimes when it's time to entertain my two little babies it just feels easy and appropriate to thrust an educational toy their way. But inevitably I notice how much joy they get from a simple spoon and kitchen scoop and wonder how much the toys really teach them above and beyond these everyday objects.

A friend recommended these books, Your Child at Play. It talks about the theory behind the development at each stage and the best games for each age (the series goes until 8 years). By understanding this, it makes it easier to just create appropriate play with everyday objects. Before I was able to get my hands on a copy, my mom found this online site. It has PDF guides to playing with your child, month by month. It covers a lot of the same issues to help ensure age-appropriate, toy-less learning with your infants.

Battery Recycling

Baby equipment takes an army of batteries. We have all the used ones right now sitting around for recycling. I found a couple options for recycling. One great online tool was this site where you can plug in your zip code and get the nearest site:

http://earth911.org/recycling/battery-recycling/

And two retailers that seem to be participating in alkaline battery recycling programs are Walgreen's and IKEA. I think at Walgreen's you may have to ask what do with used batteries at the photo department and at IKEA the recycling bins are supposedly at the exit of the store.

We've been trying to get away from batteries altogether now that the swing is no longer a key tool in our baby arsenal. And sure enough they're pretty happy just pushing all the buttons without the sounds and lights. Hurrah!

This Mom and her kids / Sittin' in the car...

A little while back I wondered about what to do with two sleeping babes in the car. Now I've had even more practice with that, so my list of useful things to do is growing:

• If the gas tank is less than 1/3 full I go and gas up. The tank is always empty at the least convenient times.
• I've tried to figure out the most picturesque places I can go and write in the little journal I keep about their latest achievements. Pictured is the Berkeley Marina where I ended up the other day. Other possibilities are local parks, cemeteries, just going somewhere different than usual feels like a break.
• I also have found it's a great time to go through and clean out the photos from my digital camera. When I can remember to take pictures I do. I never seem to clear them off. So this has been a great time for that.

Lakeshore Learning online coupon discount code

Lakeshore Learning has great wooden and educational toys, like the one at right. If you are looking for some holiday gifts that fit that criteria maybe this coupon code will help...

The code is: 79246

It's for $5 off a $25 or more purchase, or $10 off a $50 or more purchase.

Expires 12/31.

Another online parenting support

I've added another site to the places I turn for online support. It's called mamasource and it is a really nice complement to the local twins group and the Berkeley Parents Network, which I also belong to. The advantages of mamasource are that you get same day replies to your queries and it is pretty thoroughly anonymous if there's a reason that matters to you. Mamasource has a national reach, which gives it a different flavor, though it does customize relevant local info, so you're not getting ads about a new baby shop 20 states away.

There's a daily digest that you can very easily reply and post to, and also info on local mom owned businesses!

Streamlining time on email

As the holiday season heats up and there's more demand on my time, I'm finding my To Do lists getting longer and I'm also misplacing them more. So I'm passing on this tip from my sister-in-law. It's worked great for me. I no longer need to make lists of people I need to respond to via email. Instead if I get a message I can't reply to right away, I star it - or some programs call it flagging a message. Then when you do have a few uninterrupted minutes you can log in and just look at all of your starred mail. It's a straightforward list of who you need to reply to, and especially with all the holiday shopping spam it narrows down your inbox to a manageable level.

Bottom's up...

I'm trying to get my girls to drink out of cups and someone had the great suggestion to teach them using our shot glasses. Shot glasses are better proportioned for their small mouths, plus there's less liquid to spill when they decide to turn the cups over to see what happens. It was great advice and is helping a lot.

Mixing breastmilk and shot glasses reminds me of a story I read in this really useful book - So That's What They're For!: The Definitive Breastfeeding Guide. The book relates how a lactation consultant was working with a breastfeeding mama. One of the woman's problems was that her pumped breastmilk just wouldn't freeze. It took the lactation consultant a while to get to the bottom of it, but I'll give you a hint - what's the other liquid that doesn't freeze in your freezer? You got it, vodka. I think of that story everytime I go out and have a drink these days.

The Plastics Question

Rubber Ducky,
you're the one...
with pthalates!

I was stopped yesterday while food shopping by two Cal Anthropology students. They were interviewing moms of young kids about their knowledge of pthalates and Bisphenol-A. I actually felt like I was back in school on one of those days that I coincidentally had done all the reading and the teacher decided to give a pop quiz. My good friend who works in maternal-child public health had just been talking to me about the plastics question earlier in the week.

My friend suggested I read this article in the Nation. It's about pthalates in toys... the component that seemingly makes plastics (like rubber duckies) soft. Pthalates are actually banned in Europe. Bisphenol-A (BPA) meanwhile is a concern in harder plastics like bottles. Clear bottles like Avent and Dr. Brown's have them, while murky ones like Medela and Born Free don't.

I've basically decided that plastics are convenient at times and I'm not going to banish them from my house, or invest in pricey products like Born Free. Instead, my ground rule is when it comes to kitchen wear I won't freeze or heat foods in plastics, but I do serve the girls out of plastics. And for toys, I'll happily accept hand me down hard plastic toys, but won't buy new ones.

Here's a recommendation on the baby bottle issue in particular from a Chicago Tribune article:

Until more is known about the real dangers of BPA, choose glass or supposedly safer-plastic baby bottles offered by Born Free (made with polyamide) or Medela (polypropylene) so bisphenol A can't leach into the milk. For sippy cups and water bottles, plastics labeled No. 1, No. 2 or No. 5 in the recycling triangle are considered safer. Try to keep your child from putting plastic toys -- especially those designed for older children -- in his mouth.

And always use glass, rather than plastic, to microwave food and liquid.

Putting the green in the green and red

As the holidays approach, this is a great list of gift ideas from the blog Green Parenting.

Green Parenting: Green, Socially Responsible Gift Giving

A quick list of some of my favorites:

• Membership to a local museum
• Adopt and track a sea turtle throughout the year at Seaturtle.org
• Help a rural community develop health or social services (or a number of other options) via Seva Foundation
• Send seedlings or windowbox gardening kits – seeds of change or windowbox.com
  

And potential ideas for kids to give to others:

• Compose. Songs, poems, stories, plays, portraits, dances…
• Work. Clean out somebody’s garage, cupboards, paint their porch, weed their garden…

They also have good ideas posted for toys and the like.

This mama walked into McDonalds...

This isn't a joke. And actually I didn't even walk. I went to the drive thru - ten gazillion times worse for the planet, I know. I remember doing a business story about how some cities to get in compliance with the Clean Air Act had to restrict the hours of their drive thrus.

But here's the dilemma for any parent, and times two for a twin parent. You're driving home and your babies fall asleep in their fixed car seats. You want them to keep sleeping, what do you do? I think I should probably stash a book in the car and just park in the street outside our building. Unfortunately our apartment's garage is kinda claustrophobic to me. Plus for some reason the girls always wake up right away in there.

Yesterday, though, I was hungry and tired and so I went and got myself a sundae in the drive thru and then went to a beautiful cemetery near our house and sat there eating it. It was a great quiet moment. I may get addicted. Before I do, any other suggestions for a pleasant, sane break with two sleeping babies in the car?

Mmmmmm... birthday cake

This is an egg-less, milk-less frosted Banana Cake that was a hit when I made it for a good friend's 1-year old. Because it doesn't have the egg whites and straight milk it should be fine for any solid foods baby who has started eating yogurt and wheat already. And who is allowed an occasional sugar treat. It made one 8" X 10" sheet cake and then one small loaf cake (sweets for later!).

I frosted the sheet cake with a version of cream cheese frosting and used the juice from some microwaved frozen blueberries to color the lettering.

Banana Cake with Cream Cheese Frosting

5 big, ripe bananas (about 2 cups)

2 cups plain yogurt
2 scant cups sugar
1/2 cup canola oil
1 tablespoon vanilla

1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt

4 cups flour (white whole wheat flour works fine here)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Spray an 8"X10" pan and a small loaf pan with non-stick spray.

In a big bowl smash up the bananas. Add the yogurt through vanilla (all the wet ingredients). Once that is all combined add the baking soda, baking powder and salt. Make sure it is well combined with wet ingredients, then add the flour.

Final step is to add 1 cup of frozen blueberries if you'd like them. Pour batter into the pans...

and bake for about 35 minutes, until golden brown on top and a fork inserted in the cake comes out almost clean of crumbs. (this picture makes them look more golden than they should be)
Then, make the frosting:

Cream Cheese Frosting
To cover one 8X10 sheet cake well, plus extra for writing

1 8-oz. brick cream cheese, at room temperature
2 tablespoons butter
1-1/2 cups powdered sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 tablespoon water

Combine the cream cheese, butter and powdered sugar in a bowl with a hand mixer. Add vanilla and water to smooth. Use most of it to frost the cooled banana cake.

If you want to write "Happy Birthday Little One" on the cake here's a way to make fruit dye. Just take a handful of frozen blueberries or raspberries and microwave them in a little water.

The water will turn blue or red and if you mix that into a little bit of the frosting you'll have purple or pink frosting.

You then just fold a piece of wax paper into quarters

and spoon the frosting down in one sealed off corner. I take some scissors and snip off the tiniest bit of that corner and you can write with your wax paper "pen."


Yum!

Ergo-MOM-ics, Part 3

For those with postpartum joint pain (especially in the hands like I had) these were some of the things that helped me heal:

1. I can't say this enough... try not to tote around the infant car seats. Those things are heavy and were killers for my wrists and finger joints. (but I know, it all seems worth it at the time if it keeps baby sleeping)

2. No pushing the umbrella stroller with one hand! While it's so tempting to do - if you need to hold/comfort a baby or talk on the phone while you're going down the street- I had some of my worst joint pain after trying to steer our double umbrella stroller one-handed.

3. And on the subject of strollers, I now am trying to push ours with the palms of my hands and keeping my fingers out straight. I found that I was really gripping the stroller handles hard which was not helping things.

4. Another thing I discovered while trying to give my hands a break... gmail has keyboard commands. If you have gmail and you enable that functionality then you can ease up on your mouse use, which I found helped a lot.

5. Comfy shoes. It's a real pain to lace up sneakers when you're trying to get out the door with two little ones, but fortunately there are some good for your foot/back slip on athletic shoes out there.

6. Ask for help carrying when possible. I know, yet another thing to ask for help with, but twin parents get a crash course in this kind of community building exercise the first year.

Ergo-MOM-ics, part 2

What could this image possibly have to do with... ?! Hang with me for a sec. An issue I've heard about from lots of new moms, especially twin moms, is joint pain. When my hands and wrists started aching, I tried to just suck it up for a while. But when I couldn't squeeze a tube of toothpaste I went to my doctor. That's because a friend of mine reminded me about that oxygen mask lecture on airplanes: "Parents should put theirs on first and then you can help your kids." I decided that was pretty smart and I should probably be taking better care of myself so that I could go on lifting and toting my babies, especially since they'll only get heavier.

After my doctor's visit and follow up research, I've basically concluded what this post below - from my favorite parent's listserve - says. So I'm just going to repost the info below. And tomorrow I'm going to try to blog about some of the little changes I made that seemed to help my joint pain a lot:

Most postpartum joint pain is caused by ligament laxity due to
the hormonal effects of pregnancy. Ligaments are responsible for
joint stability, and after pregnancy, do not adequately support
and stabilize your joints as you move.
Most postpartum women will feel this mostly through the hips and
pelvis, though it's not unusual for other weight bearing joints
to be affected.
The good news is that since you're already 6 mos. post
childbirth, you should begin to feel more knit together soon. In
the mean time, treat your joints with care. Avoid movements that
aggrevate your joints, don't try to stretch a joint to relieve
pain. Don't walk bearfooted, choose shoes with a conoured foot
bed. When getting in and out of bed, 'log roll' your body to one
side, then use your arms to help bring yoru body upright as your
swing your legs off the side of the bed.
When lifting your baby, squat, and brace your core muscles before
you lift. Nurse your baby in a supportive chair, with a neutral
spine, i.e., don't hunch over.
Take special care of your wrists. Avoid twisting movements, and
wear wrist braces if you experience pain or tingling at night. If
your wrist pain continues, or gets worse, get a referral to a PT
who specializes in repetitive stress injuries and/or postpartumissues. In some cases postpartum wrist pain can become chronic if
left untreated.
Helene Byrne, BeFit-Mom, author, ''Exercise After Pregnancy: How to Look and Feel Your Best''

Making craigslist buying easier

Part of the reason that I feel strongly about buying used and/or less for kids is not just for the immediate green cred. It's also about setting an example for kids from the earliest age. I know that buying used can be a real drag, though, since you have to constantly comb for the item you're looking for. So here's a way to make buying used a lot more convenient.

You can subscribe to something called an RSS feed from craigslist. That lets you type in your search terms, even the geographic area you're looking in and you get live updates when an item is posted that meets your search query.

All you do is go to the craigslist home page for your area. Say you're looking for a used Maclaren Volo in the east bay. Click on "baby and kids" and then type in "Maclaren Volo" and choose the east bay tab. You'd get a screen like this:


That screen above is hard to read, but the key item is the small orange highlighted link in the lower right-hand corner. Clicking on that gets you to the RSS feed for that particular query. Once you click on it you can choose how you'd like the information delivered. If you have a google account you can have the updated search info delivered to your customized homepage. Or you can choose "Live Bookmark" and that will create a special bookmark tab in your browser that you can pull down occasionally to see if the item you're looking for has been posted and is available.

Any other helpful hints to buying used out there? I'm eager for them...

A Year Without Shopping

I mostly get my news from the radio. This story seemed right up the alley of this blog. It's about a family that is on a "consumer fast" this year. They're going to pare back their purchases and get what they do need used. They have two kids, including one that was 9-months-old when they started their fast (which does have a few exceptions, like food and toilet paper).

This is the first part in a series -- apparently the show's host has been interviewing them over the course of this year and we'll find out what they learned from their experiment. It ran this weekend on the pub radio personal finance show Marketplace Money.

One of my biggest questions is how they dealt with the issue of buying gifts. Also, I'm curious if they found some great tricks for buying used. Tomorrow I'm going to post my own tip about how to use the RSS feed on craigslist. That allows you to get updates when something you're searching for has been posted for sale. Which means you don't have to constantly on craigslist searching for those hard to get items.

The Casual Conservationist

I just learned about this book: The Casual Conservationist.

It sounds like a great read. I'm going to put a hold on it at our library and look forward to posting some of my favorite tips and a mini-review in a later post. In the meantime, for those with older kids, you can download a game from the book's website. You have to create an account with your name and email to get it, but the end product is a .PDF kit with stickers and a chart, where you can give kids a reward for everything from "taking public transportation" to "turning off lights" and "saving paper towels."

5 foods that make a difference

This isn't about consuming less, but consuming differently. The NY Times health blog lists 5 foods that one pediatrician claims can have a big impact for you and the environment if you switch to organic.

The quick roundup:
1. Milk
2. Potatoes
3. Peanut Butter
4. Ketchup
5. Apples

Their full explanation:
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2007/10/22/five-easy-ways-to-go-organic/

Little tissues for little noses

My little girls have the sniffles. Fortunately they don't seem too uncomfortable, but we end up going through lots of tissues as I try to keep their noses wiped and their germs separate. I know the most eco-friendly alternative is a handkerchief but I find that practically I mix them up and never have them handy and when they have active colds, I don't find it so sanitary. So because with babies most of the tissue goes unused I'm trying to tear a bunch in halves or quarters at the start of the day and put the pieces in a baggie that I can carry around in my pocket. It's not a huge resource savings, but it's something!

And on the subject of colds, not that they've taken the infant cold medicines off the shelves, here's an article from CNN and the Mayo Clinic about how to handle the common cold in infants.

Twinsight #6: What to do with a hoarding twin

Gimmee your ear!

We've been having a problem since about 6 or 7 months with one of our daughters stealing toys from her sis and hoarding them. Yup, she's the one who's grabbing her sister's face in the picture. She just adores her sister, but that seems to translate into her wanting and taking anything her sis has. Fortunately the one who has things taken is really laid back and doesn't get worked up about it. But I was concerned about what to do and asked for peoples' advice. Below are some of the different answers I got. They certainly helped me and hope they might be useful to you.

As far as what happened in our case, things have calmed down a bit from the initial stage. Either that or we've gotten used to it. I just try to make sure that they both always have something to play with. As they've gotten older I spend more time telling the hoarder "stop" and trying to get her to understand that. Interestingly, the more laid back sister has started to crawl first, maybe to get away from her sticky fingered sib?

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We have the same issue with my boy/girl twins that are 15 months old but this started about the same time as yours.

Ann "steals" Jake’s toys. Jake is pretty laid back so when he was younger it didn't bother him too much, but I would still separate them by distance (with me in between) so that Jake could play with his toys without Ann butting in. Ann has a shorter attention span so she gets bored with toys more easily so Jake can snatch them back. I’ve been glad he’s more laid back because he tops her by at least 5lbs.

As time has passed, Jake has become more assertive in keeping Ann from grabbing his toys so I would think yours might be the same. I will warn you that as they go through terrible teething that if someone grabs a toy from the other and their teeth hurt--watch out! They will grab back that toy back with a bite if I’m not fast enough.

I’ve also been a little concerned because they play pretty rough with each other, more than I’ve seen singletons play, but I have credited that towards being with each other from the start including kicking each other in the face pre-birth.

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My girls did this at that age too. And it was also Alma, who couldn't crawl, who was stealing all the toys. Bea, who crawled sooner, was always having everything stolen. I just let them have at it and didn't worry too much. As soon as their coordination shifted, this behavior changed. (Now at one they are equal opportunity thieves). I would just continue to feed toys to both so that they always have something. I think they like to watch each other move and act, so I guess I always felt like at that age, the "victim" was somewhat entertained by watching her sister take and manipulate an object.

I could see going a different route, but that's my two cents!

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We had a very similar experience at a young age. I would separate them for periods of time. We had a pack-n-play in our playroom and would alternate putting a kid in there with a bunch of toys and it worked pretty well. I would sometimes put them at different ends of the room when they weren't crawling very much.

It got really tough around 10 months when my son (the toy taker) was crawling very well and my daughter wasn't. I was really worried, too, that she would become conditioned to have things taken from her and that my reaction might reinforce the "victim" role. There were times when I'd intervene a lot and get toys back for her, but also taught herself to immediately start playing with a toy she didn't want, he'd take it, and she'd take back the toy she was playing with. I was amazed that before 1 yr. she had figured out that strategy.

When they were starting to get verbal (and were totally mobile) around a year, we worked a lot with our daughter to put out her hand and say "no!" when he was approaching her to take a toy. We also encouraged her to get the toy back from him, while simultaneously telling our son that taking toys wasn't okay, that he needed to ask, or trader her for something else she wanted. When they were about 18 months it got really bad -- he would snatch and
run with the toy and leave his sister in tears. We continued hardcore with the strategies mentioned above and started using the counting method with our son -- he had the count of 3 to return the toy to her or I would take it away.

It was a lot of work, but I'm happy to say that now at 2.5 there is very little escalated toy taking and it has continued to get better since they were about 22 months. They tend to work it out themselves (while I force myself to hold back) and I rarely have to intervene. When I do, I find that when it happens it is usually b/c our son is tired, needs a diaper change, or is hungry. I also found that when our son was about to take a developmental leap the toy snatching and biting (he started biting her around 7 or 8 months and it would go on for a few days every 2-3 months) increased.


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I can't remember exactly at that age but, oh yea, mine are definitely interested JUST because sister has something. At a young age I probably would just separate them, use distraction and redirection.

I know by 16 months old they knew how to ask, "share?", "my turn" and "trade?". I also taught the one who was getting bullied to say, "enough!" (you could use "stop" or "NO!" too) They mostly play well but sometimes I have to separate them or distract them. I also end up buying two of the same thing a lot of the time now, depending on what it is.

I think it would be ok to tell A, "no, B is playing with that, have THIS instead". It will probably take a lot of repetition.

Another thing I read in a twin book which I found helpful.. is not to worry too much about one being "dominant" over the other. That can and will change over time. You can give them the tools to stick up for themselves, certainly, but, let them "own" their own relationship.

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We have been dealing with the same issue since our girls were about 7 months also. They are now a little over 2 and nothing has changed all that much. Astrid still wants whatever Billie is playing with. We still do the same thing we did then. We gently ask Astrid to give the toy back to Billie and explain that Astrid was playing with it first. Now we have a rule that you have to wait until the first person is done playing with the toy.

Like you, we were worried that the more submissive daughter would never fight back. As she has gotten older, she definitely fights back for items she wants to keep playing with. However, in general I would have to say that Billie does not seem to care as much about "stuff". She is really into people while Astrid is definitely more interested in and attached to material objects. Looking back, this may be why Billie never really fought back.

Reusing baby food jars

Once twins start solid food, you start drowning in baby food containers. I reused them as much as possible for the food I made for the girls. Even so, I had way more jars than I needed and wanted to find something useful to do with them. If you find yourself in a similar situation, instead of throwing them in the recycling bin, contact your local children's arts program. I found many art centers are eager for baby food jars for painting and crafts projects. Ditto with neighborhood schools. FYI, if you happen to be here in the East Bay, I just found out that MOCHA - the Museum of Children's Art - will always accept your baby food jars.

A second saved

Here's a tip for making clean up after those initial solid food feedings easier. I put some Baby Aquaphor around the girls' mouths before their solid food feedings - at least for the first 3 months. This helped create a barrier so that they were less likely to get a rash from any acidy food that I'd then have to deal with. And the Aquaphor also helped make clean-up easier. When I'd go to wipe their mouths clean, the dirty food all just wiped off easily since it was on top of the layer of Aquaphor.

Waste not? Buying bulk food...

Even though our two additions are small, it feels like our consumption growth has been BIG since they arrived. Just our utility bills alone… more heating, more laundry, more dishes. So every month I’m going to try to make one new small change towards reducing. This month, in order to cut back on the packaging we have to toss, it will be buying as much in bulk as possible… from the girls’ oatmeal and farina cereal to my cocoa. Nuts, dried fruit, lentils, too. The place I shop even has oil and maple syrup and such in bulk. I may try that and see how it goes while I’m at it, but that seems like it could be messy.

I’d love to collect peoples’ ideas for me to try in my attempts to be lower impact! Suggest away…

How to post all those photos?

To be honest there aren't a TON of the photos. I'm convinced twin parents take fewer pictures of their kids than singleton parents, just because the ratios aren't in favor of the picture takers. Nonetheless we still have a number of good pics to send around at the end of the month. But I'm now facing the question of how to do that. This is an issue, it appears, of the generation gap.

Our siblings who are all conversant in facebook and PDAs, etc. want us to use a site like flickr so that they can download the photos and put them on their iPods to share. They have no use for the likes of Kodak Gallery where the parents and grandparents want us to post, so they can order prints on-line. Anybody have any ideas for sites that will allow us to make both camps happy?

This doesn't solve that dilemma but I have been toying with the site tabblo. It allows you to create these cute narrated collages (below) and also print postcards and posters from your tabblos:

Networking aid

I just came across a great site for printing up calling cards or mini-business cards. This isn't exactly a twin issue, but I have found that I often want to exchange coordinates with parents I meet and I rarely have a hand free, not to mention pen and paper handy, to exchange info.

The printing site is called moo.com. It's based in England. I learned about the site when I was trolling for a great, cheap, quality place to print business cards as I reenter the workforce. I really loved the moo minicard designs (a vivid graphic on one side and simple text on the other), but worried they might not be taken seriously enough. It turns out my husband's boss (coincidentally a mother of twins) has them and he told me they're the ultimate hip symbol in the business world right now. So I got some with a business-like design and then some with a more irreverent design to use as a calling card with friends and people I meet and want to be in touch with. The beauty is you pay $19.99 for 100 and then you can have as many different designs on those 100 cards as you want. The images can be from their team of graphic designers or photos you upload of family or anything else! And while the paper isn't recycled, it's sourced from sustainable forests.

On-line diaper discount code

I tend to buy my diapers on-line. I tried cloth diapering at first and couldn't swing it, though I admire my twin parent friend who does. So anyone out there expecting twins who is wondering if it's possible: yes it is!

When I switched to disposables I quickly realized that ordering cases of them on-line was way easier than buying them at the store. My usual go to sites are amazon and diapers.com, as I suspect many parents use. I use amazon when I only want diapers since their minimum for free shipping is less. But I find diapers.com has much faster shipping, so if I need them in a hurry I order from there and just buy one other item, like wipes or shampoo to get me above the $50 free shipping minimum. Diapers.com also has a per unit calculator which makes it easy to compare prices.

For anyone who hasn't used diapers.com yet, they're offering $10 off any new customer's first $50 purchase. You enter the code: PARENTING7 to get it. I'm not endorsing the site at all, just hope to pass on the savings since I wasn't eligible.

Ergo-MOM-ics

Meet my ergonomic nemesis:
I was just tested for rheumatoid arthritis. It came back negative as I knew it would, but somehow my health care provider wouldn't listen to my plea to talk to a physical therapist about my hand pain until I ruled that out. I don't visit the doc lightly. It was only when I couldn't squeeze out a tube of toothpaste because of the pain that I decided to go in.

I'm not the only one out there with such complaints... in fact based on discussion on our local twin parents listserve it's quite common with twin parents. And as bad as it is for moms, I know it can be worse for dads who are the primary care giver because they don't have hips to use as backup for overtaxed arms and hands.

I just found this article about ergonomic tips for new moms. The only thing I can add is that I think in my case it would have helped if I'd stopped using the infant car seats earlier than I did (which was around 6 or 7 months). Lugging those around really did a job on the joints in my hands. And as much as I was dreading life without the snap n go feature, all is well (well, except for my aches and pains).

Twinsight #5: Airplane packing list with 6 month old twins

Gimmee your ear!

This list is meant as the guide I wish I could have worked from when we traveled around this age. It assumes you have access to laundry/sink, because while it’s not inconceivable this could get you through 6 days, there’s also the chance that lots of accidents = need for washing.

[NOTE: If we’re not staying in a hotel with cribs to borrow, we ship two Pack n plays ahead so we don’t have to deal with them in transit. I just bought two on eBay ahead of our first travel with the girls and had them sent directly to the relative we were staying with. From there we shipped the pack n plays to our next destination where we knew we’d be in 2 months time. From there on to the grandparents for Christmas time. A great option for shipping is FedEx Ground, which you can do at almost all Kinkos. They have long open hours.]

My packing list for 6 days, 5 nights with 6 month old twins

Luggage:
Double umbrella stroller - gate check
Car seats – check only one at counter if planning to use the other onboard
Baby carrier, like Ergo
Diaper bag (contents see below*)
Small backpack (contents see below**)
Suitcase to check

Babies
Clothes/equipment in checked bag:
+ 2 full outfits
+ 8 tops
+ 8 pants
+ 2 sweaters, 2 hooded sweatshorts or jackets
+ socks/shoes if needed
+ 8 PJs
+ 3 hats (sun hats if summer, warm hats if winter)
+ 2 burpclothes (more if you use a lot)
+ 2 blankets
+ orajel, aquaphor, infant Tylenol, any other baby medicine you might possibly need
+ manicure set
+ Bjorn (or any other baby carrier)
+ 12 bibs
+ 4 baby spoons
+ 4 little washcloths
+ 2 sleepsacks
+ any stroller accessories: rain cover, sun shade, etc.
+ 2 Pack n Play sheets
+ breast pump + bottles

*diaper bag for plane:
+ 2 footed onesies
+ 2 short sleeve onesies
+ 2 hoodies
+ 2 extra pants
+ 2 burpclothes
+ x-tra diapers (lots!)
+ travel wipes (filled up!)
+ 2 toys
+ pacifier, leash, backup pacifier (for our baby who uses one)
+ the girls’ “blankies”, any other transitional objects
+ bottle with milk for plane’s descent
+ sunscreen


**Parents accessories
+ empty water bottles (to fill on the other side of security)
+ phone/phone charger
+ camera/camera charger
+ food, more than you think you’ll need in case of delays
+ magazine, sudoku? (ha, ha)

Advice on On-line advice

I think everyone has their favorite on-line sites for advice when things seem overwhelming as a parent or during pregnancy. Sometimes it's a challenge to weed through and find the ones that match your parenting philosophy. Here are two that I usually find really helpful and not too alarmist:

http://altdotlife.com/archives/category/parenting/
You have to go through a quick registration process to access it, but their alt.mama forum has lots of great info.

http://parents.berkeley.edu/
Some of this is very region-centric, but a lot of the parenting forum info is applicable to anyone, anywhere.

Baby-parent food: Kabocha-Spinach Soup

I really like to cook so I always imagined I would make my own baby food. While there are twin parents who seem to be able to do it right off the bat, I found getting my girls eating was enough of a challenge. Making their food was something I put on hold for a bit. Now that they're 9 months and happy eaters of lots of different foods, I'm trying to figure out recipes I can cook for THEM and US. Multi-tasking is the name of the game.

This is the first recipe that I tried that has made a meal for all four of us. It's Kabocha Squash-Spinach Soup.

Soup for the girls (left), Soup for the grown-ups (right):

It's long been a favorite of mine and I've served it to lots of company and everyone always loves it. Pair it with salad and bread and wine and done. It's perfect for twin parents: you don't have to peel Kabocha squash since the rind is edible (and tasty) so that's yet another time saver. And the flavor is very rich without any stock, so it's just straight up water and veggies. I just took out a couple ladles full of soup to puree for the girls before adding the salt and pepper. And voila! It even freezes well for them.

The girls' green school bus

We've gotten lots of hand me down toy vehicles... all of which are the worst emitters on the road: buses, dump trucks, tractors. I figure we're trying to raise the girls so they're aware of the environment. Besides, my husband works in energy policy. So I scavenged the internet and I finally found these toy sized biodiesel stickers - you have to scroll down to the second product and choose the right size (4 inches). Smallest I could find.

Twinsight #4: WHAT TO BUY NEW

I'm a big proponent of buying things used - good for $$ and for the earth. But these are the things we decided to get new, or else were given and really appreciated. So if people are asking what they can buy you, here are the new items that were really handy for us.

• Convertible carseats - Big ticket item and these will probably be used for long enough that getting these new is a fine idea. We chose the Britax Roundabouts because we have a sedan and couldn't fit two bigger seats in the rear facing position (something to think about when you're looking at those seats)
  
• Personalized towels - Initially I got towels in two different colors and just said I would remember who was which color. Yeah, right, not in those first sleep deprived weeks/months (though it may work for you if you're color coding other things in their lives). And then we got these personalized towels as a gift. No more mixing up the towels. I highly recommend it, plus these from Company Kids are adorable and soft. I can't believe I'm recommending monogrammed towels!
• Soothie pacifier – perfect for tiny faces, they don’t smush noses on preemies/small babies the way that standard pacifiers do - and there's always a good chance twins will be born little. Seems like online is the easiest place to find them.
  
• Crib sheets - We just got a three pack to start with and that has been all right so far.
  
• Crib mattress - We got a Colgate II mattress recommended by a baby shopping bargains book and we've been very happy with it!
• 2 baby calendars – Ours is this one (pictured right), but there are lots of options. It's easier to keep up than baby books, and with twins, time is everything.
  
• Ergo baby carrier - (unless you get lucky and find a good deal on one used. But I've found they tend to sell for almost as much as a new one). While I loved how the babies can face out in the Baby Bjorns, at around 6 months they just got TOO heavy. And these are good on your back as promised. They're great for travel, too. It's really key with twins to have one good carrier because there will be times you have to carry both and putting one in a carrier while holding the other is much more secure than doing both freestyle.
  

• Two other items to ask for from people who want to get you something: 1) a session with a baby/family photographer around 6 or 7 months when the babies start sitting up, but before they can crawl away. Great to look forward to because with twins there usually isn’t a parent free to take pictures; 2) gift cards to places with food To Go in your area

I'd love to hear other peoples' suggestions on this, too!

Twinsight #3: WHAT TO BUY USED

I'm a big proponent of getting infant items used. Now on top of the old fashioned resale shops and loaners from friends, craigslist, eBay and freecycle are great resources. It's good for your wallet and the environment. I KNOW I'm not the only twin parent who is a big fan of used stuff because more than 50% of the families I meet when buying and selling through craigslist have twins.

Also, multiple groups (like the San Francisco Parents of Multiples Club) and local parents groups (like the Berkeley Parents Network) are great places to find used stuff posted for free. Jump on that bandwagon!

Here is my list of great items to try to get used as you prepare for your twins' arrival:

• Infant carseats - I know the industry always says buy carseats new, but you use these for such a short period. I found a twins family I trusted who said theirs hadn't been in an accident and I was very happy to go with that.
• A double snap n go stroller - If you do a lot of walking on not great sidewalks or uphills, I highly recommend scavenging for a used Double Decker stroller (see pic). Otherwise a straight ahead double snap n go should be fine for the few months this item is useful.

• A single snap n go stroller - I loved putting one baby in a Bjorn and the other in a single snap n go for strolls around the neighborhood. Also, good way to go into places like cafes where there isn't much room.
• Nursing pillow - if you're planning to try tandem nursing. I tried two and the best one in the beginning was the EZ-2-Nurse-Twins. Definitely try to get this from the multiple club's loaner library or another mother.
  
• Futon and/or glider. I found it much easier to tandem nurse on a futon at first. For the first 7 months or so it was really helpful to have the room on either side of my nursing pillow to arrange the girls. Now that they're bigger I use a glider without a nursing pillow. And don't forget the nursing stool!! (and I don't mean the gliding ottoman which just doesn't do you much good with twins I think)
• Full-size Co-sleeper or bassinet
• Crib - perfect thing to find used. Just make sure the slats are the regulation distance apart, but otherwise it's a piece of solid furniture that should be able to go through lots of families.
  
• Long dresser that can double as a changing table if you throw a changing pad on it
• Changing pad
• Swing – love the Papasan swing by Fisher Price but anything that has both side to side and front to back action is good

• Two Slings and two Baby Bjorns - We used the slings for only a few weeks in the beginning. But they were very useful. Especially when the babes are small and vulnerable people won't go sticking their hands all over the kiddos if you take them out in slings. And as for Bjorns, I can't say enough good things about Bjorns. I was very sad when I had to switch to a backpack because the girls just got too heavy.
• Miracle blankets, size small, very helpful for all the swaddling you do in the beginning, good to find on eBay
• Halo sleep sacks, most useful sizes would be M and L, since you’ll likely be swaddling in the beginning, good to find on eBay
• Zutano booties, size 0-6 months - These are simply the best things ever if you have twins born in the fall or winter. You'll be worried about keeping their feet warm, but I'm SURE will not have time to keep running after socks that constantly fall off. These booties stay on and are nice and fleecy. And since babies aren't walking yet, these are the perfect thing to find used.
  
• Hanna Andersson moccasins, size 6-12 months - I know Robeez are really cute and hip, but don't underestimate the work that putting on socks and then another layer of shoes takes. Especially with two wriggling, giggling beings. These moccasins are perfect for when babies need a non-slip tread but you don't want to deal with separate socks. Again that sounds like no big deal, but simplify!
  

And for later on (months 6-12) here are a few useful things to keep an eye out for:

• Exersaucer and jumperoo - anything that will help contain one while you attend to the other is key
• Double stroller - we chose an older Maclaren Twin Traveller. You can often find used MacLarens in great condition from people with two different aged kids whose toddler outgrew the stroller quickly. So far the Maclaren has been perfect for hopping in and out of the car and for airplanes. On travel it's been great for having them sleep, eat and, of course, stroll in.
• Foam puzzle mat - so they can fall all that they need to as they learn to sit up, stand up, crawl and walk and you get a little more peace of mind.

Tomorrow... some items to buy new.

Boggle for the baby-locked

Tandem breastfeeding means you can't move around too easily. Frequently I find myself baby-locked, making mental lists but otherwise at odds for something to do as they chug their meals. But then along came this colorful foam mat...


We put it down to absorb the babies' falls. But it doubles as a glorified Boggle mat while I'm nursing the chicas. And it's addictive. So far the longest word I found in the mat was "Intruding" (yes I allow myself to reuse letters). The mat configuration above hasn't been the most fruitful for word hunting, but it gives you an idea of what I'm talking about. My fave word I found in the pic above is "queued."

If you have a foam mat and the same nursing dilemma I described, give it a try!

Speaking of "baby footprints"...

On the subject of "baby footprints" (below), this is a new game to evaluate the consequences of your consumer habits. Full disclosure: it was created by my frequent employer. It takes about 10 minutes. It's fun and interesting, though not specifically related to twins. The only tangential connection I can come up with is that a parent of infant twins probably shouldn't be spending his/her time in the world of e-games and avatars!

http://sustainability.publicradio.org/consumerconsequences/

I learned that the areas I really need to concentrate on are improving my transportation use and food consumption. You can also compare your habits to others in various categories. Another twin tangent... you can compare yourself to others instead of trying to avoid making comparisons between your kids.

Sew sew

I've started doing a little sewing for the girls and a friend passed on these pics of easy kid sewing which I really liked...


















Also, she gave me a heads up on these two websites which have fabulous vintage-style fabrics. Very hip, and happily not the bright, mod, hit-you-over-the-head prints that are really popular these days. It's the traditionalist in me speaking, but those clothes just don't seem baby friendly to me. I'm all for color and patterns, I just like my a little more toned down and, apparently (gasp!) cutesy. The e-stores are Reprodepot and Purl Soho.