Interesting post about separating twins for Kindergarten

Silicon Valley Mom's Blog has a piece about one twin mom's experience separating her twins in school. I found it illuminating. And I'm glad we don't have to face those issue in preschool!

Very lovely twins story

Someone posted this Newsweek story on our local twins forum the other day. It's the tale of fraternal twin girls from China who were adopted by different families in the US and at the age of 4 found each other. It's such a beautiful story about the connection twins share.

Good deal on rain and snow boots for twins

There's a "buy two boots, get 20% off" sale right now at endless.com. They have free shipping and return policy. So while used is always best for the pocketbook and environment, from a convenience standpoint I jumped in this puddle. And now I don't have to worry about the rain that's forecast for today -- except what to do with the girls. But more on good indoor budget activities next post...

Great food for teaching your babies to spoon feed themsleves

With twins it's especially important to get kids learning to do stuff for themselves early. When you have to spoon feed two, for example, it's a real chore. But then I decided to let the girls have at the spoons themselves... I quickly discovered the MESS that two can make when learning to feed themselves with a spoon often takes more effort to clean than just sucking it up and holding the spoons for them.

I discovered the best learner food for using a spoon was mixing whole plain yogurt with a natural food thickener like granola. Initially I mixed a few big spoons of yogurt with a scant 1/4 cup of nut-free granola in a small container. I'd mix it up the night before, let it soften and thicken in the fridge and then give it to the girls to feed themselves in the morning for breakfast or their snack. I found that there's often a nut-free blueberry flavor granola in the bulk food section of many grocery stores. Also Trader Joe's has the Granola and the Three Berries which is nut free. (You could probably make your own too. I don't have my act together for that, but if I did I'd do a nut-free variation on this recipe which is delish).

This is a great paste like concoction that is hard for the toddlers to splatter everywhere. And if it falls of their spoon you can just pick up the little clump and put it back in their bowl. Since they've gotten a little more proficient we've moved on to yogurt mixed with fruit compote (as in pic above). The yogurt's consistency is more liquidy with chunks of cooked dried fruit.

My recipe for compote is basically throwing mixed dried fruits in a pot, say dried cherries, raisins, apricots and nectarines, and then adding 2 cups orange juice, 2 cinnamon sticks and a sprinkle of cloves. I simmer it until it's really soft, but watch to make sure all the liquid hasn't evaporated. Before stirring it into the yogurt I chop it to the appropriate size for their chewing ability.

On a related note: I've been doing this with my girls for months now and it's a still a very messy proposition. So I heartily recommend this piece of equipment: Bumkins junior bibs (see left). Somehow the pocket at the bottom catches almost everything they can throw down and the full shoulder protection is mighty helpful.

We are getting somewhere, though. When they eat things like peas now they insist on spoons and while they put them on the spoons with their fingers, it's still a step in the right direction.

Twinsight #8: Weaning twins

Gimmee your ear!

After all the work to get the girls breastfeeding together, I hardly believed there would come a day when I would be trying to figure out how and when they might stop. But sure enough that day came. And since mine recently weaned themselves, thought I'd share how it came about...

It happened somewhat gradually. They went from nursing 6 times a day at one year (morning, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, before bed) down to 5 times by 13 months (I dropped out the before bed feeding).

During that month they were getting used to drinking cows milk so in the following month (month 13) that we just dropped out their nursing snacks (the morning one first and then 2 weeks later the afternoon snack).

Then in month 14 I dropped their lunch time nursing until we were reliably down to twice a day by the end of the month.

So at 15 months they were nursing twice a day - when they woke up and then before their solid food dinner. I was pretty OK with doing that... especially because I knew that on the rare days my work kept my away until after their bedtime they were fine without that nurse and it wasn't the end of the world. (I work part time and usually from home).

I was fully prepared to keep nursing until they decided they were done. It didn't look like the end was in sight at all - one of my daughters was especially attached to nursing the other seemed to enjoy the company more than anything. But then when they were about 17.5 months I had to work late two nights in a row and they skipped their evening feed and it so happened the following two mornings I slept in and my husband got up with the girls and I was too tired to nurse them and they didn't clamor for it and after those 2 days of no nursing morning or evening passed, they just seemed to forget about it! I was shocked.

I kept pumping at night in case they wanted to do it again and one of them did say "pillow" and "nurse" about 2 days later (we always nursed on a pillow), but because it was at a time when we ordinarily didn't nurse at that point I felt OK saying, "no not right now" and she never brought it up again.

I hand expressed my milk in a hot shower for about 5 nights after that and that was the end of things. I was shocked, but happy. I think it was the right time for all of us.

Fitting multiple kids (with car seats!) into a small car

We can't be the only ones with a compact car who have wondered how on earth you can keep your small wheels and potentially transport 3 kids around. Car seats just seem so big. So far we've been very fortunate with our setup. Two Britax Roundabouts in a Honda Civic. With twins anything bigger, like the Marathon, just wasn't an option because we couldn't fit them in rear facing. We are still able to use the middle back seat to squeeze in one small adult - and often do - but I've wondered what would happen if we needed to get another car seat back there. Or even to make it comfortable for the adult back there.

I just learned about this Radian Car Seat line which I would have opted for in a SECOND over our Roundabouts if I'd known about them when we were buying. They're each about 1.25 inches narrower than the Roundabouts but add it up and that's 2.5 inches less car seat which in a compact car's back seat is significant. An added bonus of the Radian seats is that the bottom folds up into the back for really easy travel. They're supposed to have a great safety record too. Oh, and the sides aren't as high as the Roundabout's. Initially that seems like a nice comfort feature but it makes it difficult to maneuver the girls into their seats given the car's low headroom and if they squirm I often end up accidentally bonking them while getting them in their seats. Poor girlios!

And I just want to put in a plug for making due with a small car and twins. At first I was worried with the strollers and gear we'd be squeezed too tight. I don't rule out getting a second bigger car when we do more carpooling and traveling around with their friends but for now this is perfect.

Twinsight #7: Breastfeeding twins advice

Gimmee your ear!

I had a hard time finding really useful info on breastfeeding twins, so here’s my perspective from the other side. The first year is behind me and now my worries are about how to wean the girls. Who would have thought!

+ NO PRESSURE – Because I found one of the keys to getting my milk flowing was to relax, I think it’s really good to go into the whole experience with a "we’ll see" attitude. A partner who is on alert to give you shoulder massages and refill water at every feeding in the very beginning is a plus.

+ DON’T LET A (SHORT) STAY IN NICU THROW THINGS OFF – I can’t speak to a prolonged stay, but one of my daughters was low birth weight and spent her first 3 days in NICU for monitoring while we were in the other hospital room. I had the NICU nurse call my room before she would give her a bottle. About every other feeding I was able to make the trek over to NICU to let my daughter suck on me for about 10 minutes before they gave her the bottle.

+ KEEP A FEEDING LOG FOR EACH BABY FROM THE BEGINNING – And that means output as well as input. Take a few minutes to make an Excel spreadsheet (or hand draw and photocopy) charts for each baby before their birth. Include time of feeding, amount, and type of feeding and then also include boxes where you can note the times of dirty or wet diapers. When breastfeeding you have no idea how much the babies are eating unless you’re going to weigh them constantly. A much easier way is to gauge appropriate nutrition by how many wet and dirty diapers they’re having. Our girls were released at 4 lbs. 1 oz and 5 lbs. 1 oz. (they had lost some of their birth weight) and we were required to check with our pediatrician the next day. When I went in and showed her their chart of dirty and wet diapers she said I was free to exclusively breastfeed based on their output.

+ LINE UP ANY FRIENDS WHO ARE MOMS (THOSE WHO WORK IN OB OR MATERNAL HEALTH FIELDS ARE A PLUS) – I had one OB friend who came to the hospital. While the nurses were very helpful, my friend was the one who had the time to really show me and walk me through the football hold for an entire feeding. Football hold was key with my tiny babies. After I went home, a new mom friend of mine had committed to coming over every day for the first week. She helped me get hooked up to the breast pump and sat there with me saying encouraging things. I think regularly using the breast pump in the beginning really helped my milk flow.

+ DRINK LIKE A MARATHONER – The pediatrician who checked us out of the hospital said he told breastfeeding moms of singletons to drink at least 1 liter of water a day. He told me to drink at least 3 liters. Sounds crazy, especially since your bladder isn’t always all that it should be right after birth, but I followed his advice and think it helped a lot.

+ DON’T PUT TOO MUCH STOCK IN NIPPLE CONFUSION – In my experience it wasn’t worth driving myself crazy trying to have my girls suck on fingers rather than pacifiers in the early days to avoid “nipple confusion.” I did my best on that front, but the pacifier was a lifesaver at times in the early weeks and no harm to breastfeeding in my experience. Ditto for bottles. I took advantage of that milk I was pumping in the beginning to get a little feeding relief. Of course if there appears to be a problem with nipple confusion definitely reverse course.

+ SPEAKING OF NIPPLES – They really can hurt. Breast feeding for me was not easy in the beginning at all. Even maybe the first few months of it. But it can become second nature and I really enjoyed the experience. If you think you might too then try to stick with it. So while breastfeeding those first few weeks, put a book of humorous essays in a cookbook stand so you can read something distracting. Turn the radio up. Ask for a shoulder massage. Just do whatever helps you not focus on the initial discomfort (if you have it).

Finally, here’s a list of tips from La Leche League. And this is the book "Mothering Multiples" that I read before the babies’ birth and found it very helpful.

Now tandem feeding is a whole other challenge. Another time...

Best price I can find on Seventh Generation diapers

We go through a lot of diapers, as I suspect any family who is using disposable diapers does with non-potty trained twins. My favorite kind is definitely Seventh Generation. and diapers.com is my favorite place to get them. They ship them incredibly fast which is key when you realize you need to order more with only a handful of old ones remaining.

Now diapers.com has some promotion where you can buy a Seventh Generation discount card. It gives you 15% off Seventh Generation purchases over the course of a year. I'm generally skeptical of such things, but I did the calculations. They're now selling this card for an introductory price of $29.99. It gets you approximately $6 off each case you buy. So after 5 cases you break even. Every case after that comes at a $6 discount. If like us you go through 1+ cases per month, then it can add up to a case or two of "free" diapers by the end of the year.

The only annoying thing about diapers.com is that free shipping is for purchases over $50. So that means getting wipes with your diapers, or else ordering two cases at a time.

An Umbrella Built For Two

With all the rain we've been having lately, couldn't resist posting this twin umbrella.

Books and the new twin mom

Part of my push to get into more creative endeavors is a vow to read more. And not about Bunnies and Caterpillars.

So for a few months I've belonged to GoodReads. It's kind of like Facebook, if that site were called Faceliterature. GoodReads is part social networking, part lit crit. It allows me to keep a Netflix-style list of the books I want to read. Especially since it sometimes takes a little while for a book to show up in my library's catalog after I first hear of it. And o GoodReads you get to review it and see what friends are reading too.

Now GETTING to the books is a whole other issue. I came across this site called BookSwim which will let you rent books and will actually ship them to you. It's a little pricey... $14.99 a month to get 2 books at a time and the cost structure goes up from there. If I ever have a friend on bed rest, though, I'm definitely getting them a subscription to this site as a gift. Once the babies are born, it's a different story. I just don't think I have enough time to read to justify that cost.

Speaking of reading, I'm currently in the process of reading Boomsday. I wanted a good laugh and it supplies.

On the theme of being a broad'

Broad-minded mama, that is. I just heard part of a Talk of the Nation show about what it's like going through life in a wheelchair. Definitely a good change of perspective. And it links to the documentary that inspired the program which I have to remember to put in my Netflix queue (the film didn't seem to be listed there yet).

I've actually thought a fair amount during the past year about what it must be like to get around in a wheelchair. Whenever I get frustrated pushing the double stroller and getting dirty looks for taking up the whole sidewalk or the doorway of a store, I remind myself this is a temporary state and was a happy choice. For some people it's not that.

New Year, new and improved Blog

Okay, time for my creativity manifesto:

One thing that I’ve been frustrated about since our twins arrived is feeling a real creative void in my life. My mom tries to give me pep talks,: “Raising a child, especially two at once requires lots of creativity.” I do get that. There’s the aha! moment when you figure out just the trick to meet two totally different needs at once. Or when you mentally rewrite your recipes to allow for entertaining two kids at the same time as cooking. And the there’s keeping up with a toddler’s delightfully fresh perspective on the world.

BUT when you have two little ones, especially two going through the same stages together, there are definitely periods that feel assembly-line-o-rama. Diapers. Getting dressed. Eating meals. Getting redressed after messy meals. Getting out the door. Immediately turning back around to get back in the door and change a diaper.

By creativity I don’t mean knitting and crafty things. I just miss the time to work over an idea in my head uninterrupted, the ability to just pick up and go to an event that sounds interesting. The chance to explore worlds other than my own that invariably make me think about what else is possible.

So my resolution is to try little things to get those sparks going even as my thought process is fragmented and my ability to get out of the house to non twins friendly events is limited.

And I'm going to blog about my attempts here – all in the context of mothering and keeping a career puttering along and trying to be good to the earth Sometimes that might be posting a YouTube video that got me inspired. Sometimes it could be a magazine or person I find online who is doing something relevant to my life but a little askew. I recently signed up for Facebook as a way to connect with friends and just be a part of a universe that’s new to me.

And I’d love any ideas others have to carve out and keep that creative space going.

Happy New Year: a look back

The New Year almost coincides with my girls’ birthday. So I took a few minutes to look back on the highs and lows of the first year:

HIGHS…
The first smiles

Watching my husband be an amazing dad to our girls

Finding great childcare

All the newfound friends in our neighborhood, and the opportunity to connect with strangers who wanted to admire the girls whenever we went out

The first time I saw the girls laugh at and enjoy each other

A newfound and deeper appreciation of family

LOWS…
Searching for childcare

The usual – no sleep, leaving the house with a shirt on inside out, realizing I have way too few photos of their first year because who has time to take photos?

Ordering and paying for lunch at an eat-in restaurant but abandoning it when the girls just wouldn’t stop screaming at the tops of their lungs

Having an ear clogged with wax but not getting it taken care of, because it was useful when holding a wailing infant

AND A LOT OF THINGS WERE BOTH…
When Aurora figured out what “no” meant -- exciting to see her understand, but heartbreaking to witness this loss of innocence

The first time I went to pick up and hug Amalia and she tried to squirm away – independence good, rejection of me sad

Travel -- great to venture out and have a great time, horrible to venture out and be in a different time zone

Sleep training – horrid to sit through the crying, wonderful to finally get the sleep

Theories on Housekeeping with Twins

Sweeping: if you wait long enough, the dust forms itself into a dust bunny and then you can just pick it up and throw it away.

Buttermilk Oatmeal Pancakes - toddler friendly!

These were a big hit with the girls. They're adapted from a recipe in the original Laurel's Kitchen cookbook - one that I grew up with.

Buttermilk Oatmeal Pancakes
1-1/4 cups buttermilk
1 cup quick oats

1 tablespoon canola oil
2 eggs, beaten
2 teaspoons vanilla

1/2 cup flour (can use whole wheat)
1 heaping tablespoon brown sugar
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon salt

Combine the buttermilk and oats in a bowl and let stand at least 5 minutes.

Add the oil and beaten eggs and vanilla, mixing well. Stir in the flour, sugar, baking powder and salt. mix just until the dry ingredients are moistened.

Bake on a hot, buttered griddle, using 1/4 - 1/3 cup of batter for each pancake. Turn them when the top is bubbly and the edges are slightly dry.

YUM! We broke them into pieces for the girls but I'm looking forward to the day when we can make the pancakes a little smaller and then just hand the girls a whole one.

Four Ears

We had our first brush with an ear infection this weekend. It was unfolding over the past week, but I was oblivious and didn't realize what was going on until our one daughter running a low fever suddenly spiked a 104.5 temp. We had to go to the emergency room and everything.

The thing was she was so calm and playful and didn't show any typical symptoms of an ear ache. I just gave her Tylenol like the nurse at our doctor's office said and didn't think too much of her 100-101 fever. Probably a mild bug. At the hospital, though, they said she actually had one perforated ear drum that had already begun to heal on its own, but the other ear was still infected.

I feel like there was one take-away lesson for other twin parents here. Apparently it should have been a bit of a clue that our other daughter had NO symptoms or fever at all. If it was a bug the girls probably would have shared it, like they do their saliva all over their toys. Next time one has a low fever for 2 days and the other is perfectly healthy, we're going in to see the doc stat!

Bottom's up...

I'm trying to get my girls to drink out of cups and someone had the great suggestion to teach them using our shot glasses. Shot glasses are better proportioned for their small mouths, plus there's less liquid to spill when they decide to turn the cups over to see what happens. It was great advice and is helping a lot.

Mixing breastmilk and shot glasses reminds me of a story I read in this really useful book - So That's What They're For!: The Definitive Breastfeeding Guide. The book relates how a lactation consultant was working with a breastfeeding mama. One of the woman's problems was that her pumped breastmilk just wouldn't freeze. It took the lactation consultant a while to get to the bottom of it, but I'll give you a hint - what's the other liquid that doesn't freeze in your freezer? You got it, vodka. I think of that story everytime I go out and have a drink these days.

The Plastics Question

Rubber Ducky,
you're the one...
with pthalates!

I was stopped yesterday while food shopping by two Cal Anthropology students. They were interviewing moms of young kids about their knowledge of pthalates and Bisphenol-A. I actually felt like I was back in school on one of those days that I coincidentally had done all the reading and the teacher decided to give a pop quiz. My good friend who works in maternal-child public health had just been talking to me about the plastics question earlier in the week.

My friend suggested I read this article in the Nation. It's about pthalates in toys... the component that seemingly makes plastics (like rubber duckies) soft. Pthalates are actually banned in Europe. Bisphenol-A (BPA) meanwhile is a concern in harder plastics like bottles. Clear bottles like Avent and Dr. Brown's have them, while murky ones like Medela and Born Free don't.

I've basically decided that plastics are convenient at times and I'm not going to banish them from my house, or invest in pricey products like Born Free. Instead, my ground rule is when it comes to kitchen wear I won't freeze or heat foods in plastics, but I do serve the girls out of plastics. And for toys, I'll happily accept hand me down hard plastic toys, but won't buy new ones.

Here's a recommendation on the baby bottle issue in particular from a Chicago Tribune article:

Until more is known about the real dangers of BPA, choose glass or supposedly safer-plastic baby bottles offered by Born Free (made with polyamide) or Medela (polypropylene) so bisphenol A can't leach into the milk. For sippy cups and water bottles, plastics labeled No. 1, No. 2 or No. 5 in the recycling triangle are considered safer. Try to keep your child from putting plastic toys -- especially those designed for older children -- in his mouth.

And always use glass, rather than plastic, to microwave food and liquid.

This mama walked into McDonalds...

This isn't a joke. And actually I didn't even walk. I went to the drive thru - ten gazillion times worse for the planet, I know. I remember doing a business story about how some cities to get in compliance with the Clean Air Act had to restrict the hours of their drive thrus.

But here's the dilemma for any parent, and times two for a twin parent. You're driving home and your babies fall asleep in their fixed car seats. You want them to keep sleeping, what do you do? I think I should probably stash a book in the car and just park in the street outside our building. Unfortunately our apartment's garage is kinda claustrophobic to me. Plus for some reason the girls always wake up right away in there.

Yesterday, though, I was hungry and tired and so I went and got myself a sundae in the drive thru and then went to a beautiful cemetery near our house and sat there eating it. It was a great quiet moment. I may get addicted. Before I do, any other suggestions for a pleasant, sane break with two sleeping babies in the car?

Ergo-MOM-ics, Part 3

For those with postpartum joint pain (especially in the hands like I had) these were some of the things that helped me heal:

1. I can't say this enough... try not to tote around the infant car seats. Those things are heavy and were killers for my wrists and finger joints. (but I know, it all seems worth it at the time if it keeps baby sleeping)

2. No pushing the umbrella stroller with one hand! While it's so tempting to do - if you need to hold/comfort a baby or talk on the phone while you're going down the street- I had some of my worst joint pain after trying to steer our double umbrella stroller one-handed.

3. And on the subject of strollers, I now am trying to push ours with the palms of my hands and keeping my fingers out straight. I found that I was really gripping the stroller handles hard which was not helping things.

4. Another thing I discovered while trying to give my hands a break... gmail has keyboard commands. If you have gmail and you enable that functionality then you can ease up on your mouse use, which I found helped a lot.

5. Comfy shoes. It's a real pain to lace up sneakers when you're trying to get out the door with two little ones, but fortunately there are some good for your foot/back slip on athletic shoes out there.

6. Ask for help carrying when possible. I know, yet another thing to ask for help with, but twin parents get a crash course in this kind of community building exercise the first year.