Waste not? Buying bulk food...

Even though our two additions are small, it feels like our consumption growth has been BIG since they arrived. Just our utility bills alone… more heating, more laundry, more dishes. So every month I’m going to try to make one new small change towards reducing. This month, in order to cut back on the packaging we have to toss, it will be buying as much in bulk as possible… from the girls’ oatmeal and farina cereal to my cocoa. Nuts, dried fruit, lentils, too. The place I shop even has oil and maple syrup and such in bulk. I may try that and see how it goes while I’m at it, but that seems like it could be messy.

I’d love to collect peoples’ ideas for me to try in my attempts to be lower impact! Suggest away…

How to post all those photos?

To be honest there aren't a TON of the photos. I'm convinced twin parents take fewer pictures of their kids than singleton parents, just because the ratios aren't in favor of the picture takers. Nonetheless we still have a number of good pics to send around at the end of the month. But I'm now facing the question of how to do that. This is an issue, it appears, of the generation gap.

Our siblings who are all conversant in facebook and PDAs, etc. want us to use a site like flickr so that they can download the photos and put them on their iPods to share. They have no use for the likes of Kodak Gallery where the parents and grandparents want us to post, so they can order prints on-line. Anybody have any ideas for sites that will allow us to make both camps happy?

This doesn't solve that dilemma but I have been toying with the site tabblo. It allows you to create these cute narrated collages (below) and also print postcards and posters from your tabblos:

Networking aid

I just came across a great site for printing up calling cards or mini-business cards. This isn't exactly a twin issue, but I have found that I often want to exchange coordinates with parents I meet and I rarely have a hand free, not to mention pen and paper handy, to exchange info.

The printing site is called moo.com. It's based in England. I learned about the site when I was trolling for a great, cheap, quality place to print business cards as I reenter the workforce. I really loved the moo minicard designs (a vivid graphic on one side and simple text on the other), but worried they might not be taken seriously enough. It turns out my husband's boss (coincidentally a mother of twins) has them and he told me they're the ultimate hip symbol in the business world right now. So I got some with a business-like design and then some with a more irreverent design to use as a calling card with friends and people I meet and want to be in touch with. The beauty is you pay $19.99 for 100 and then you can have as many different designs on those 100 cards as you want. The images can be from their team of graphic designers or photos you upload of family or anything else! And while the paper isn't recycled, it's sourced from sustainable forests.

On-line diaper discount code

I tend to buy my diapers on-line. I tried cloth diapering at first and couldn't swing it, though I admire my twin parent friend who does. So anyone out there expecting twins who is wondering if it's possible: yes it is!

When I switched to disposables I quickly realized that ordering cases of them on-line was way easier than buying them at the store. My usual go to sites are amazon and diapers.com, as I suspect many parents use. I use amazon when I only want diapers since their minimum for free shipping is less. But I find diapers.com has much faster shipping, so if I need them in a hurry I order from there and just buy one other item, like wipes or shampoo to get me above the $50 free shipping minimum. Diapers.com also has a per unit calculator which makes it easy to compare prices.

For anyone who hasn't used diapers.com yet, they're offering $10 off any new customer's first $50 purchase. You enter the code: PARENTING7 to get it. I'm not endorsing the site at all, just hope to pass on the savings since I wasn't eligible.

Ergo-MOM-ics

Meet my ergonomic nemesis:
I was just tested for rheumatoid arthritis. It came back negative as I knew it would, but somehow my health care provider wouldn't listen to my plea to talk to a physical therapist about my hand pain until I ruled that out. I don't visit the doc lightly. It was only when I couldn't squeeze out a tube of toothpaste because of the pain that I decided to go in.

I'm not the only one out there with such complaints... in fact based on discussion on our local twin parents listserve it's quite common with twin parents. And as bad as it is for moms, I know it can be worse for dads who are the primary care giver because they don't have hips to use as backup for overtaxed arms and hands.

I just found this article about ergonomic tips for new moms. The only thing I can add is that I think in my case it would have helped if I'd stopped using the infant car seats earlier than I did (which was around 6 or 7 months). Lugging those around really did a job on the joints in my hands. And as much as I was dreading life without the snap n go feature, all is well (well, except for my aches and pains).

Twinsight #5: Airplane packing list with 6 month old twins

Gimmee your ear!

This list is meant as the guide I wish I could have worked from when we traveled around this age. It assumes you have access to laundry/sink, because while it’s not inconceivable this could get you through 6 days, there’s also the chance that lots of accidents = need for washing.

[NOTE: If we’re not staying in a hotel with cribs to borrow, we ship two Pack n plays ahead so we don’t have to deal with them in transit. I just bought two on eBay ahead of our first travel with the girls and had them sent directly to the relative we were staying with. From there we shipped the pack n plays to our next destination where we knew we’d be in 2 months time. From there on to the grandparents for Christmas time. A great option for shipping is FedEx Ground, which you can do at almost all Kinkos. They have long open hours.]

My packing list for 6 days, 5 nights with 6 month old twins

Luggage:
Double umbrella stroller - gate check
Car seats – check only one at counter if planning to use the other onboard
Baby carrier, like Ergo
Diaper bag (contents see below*)
Small backpack (contents see below**)
Suitcase to check

Babies
Clothes/equipment in checked bag:
+ 2 full outfits
+ 8 tops
+ 8 pants
+ 2 sweaters, 2 hooded sweatshorts or jackets
+ socks/shoes if needed
+ 8 PJs
+ 3 hats (sun hats if summer, warm hats if winter)
+ 2 burpclothes (more if you use a lot)
+ 2 blankets
+ orajel, aquaphor, infant Tylenol, any other baby medicine you might possibly need
+ manicure set
+ Bjorn (or any other baby carrier)
+ 12 bibs
+ 4 baby spoons
+ 4 little washcloths
+ 2 sleepsacks
+ any stroller accessories: rain cover, sun shade, etc.
+ 2 Pack n Play sheets
+ breast pump + bottles

*diaper bag for plane:
+ 2 footed onesies
+ 2 short sleeve onesies
+ 2 hoodies
+ 2 extra pants
+ 2 burpclothes
+ x-tra diapers (lots!)
+ travel wipes (filled up!)
+ 2 toys
+ pacifier, leash, backup pacifier (for our baby who uses one)
+ the girls’ “blankies”, any other transitional objects
+ bottle with milk for plane’s descent
+ sunscreen


**Parents accessories
+ empty water bottles (to fill on the other side of security)
+ phone/phone charger
+ camera/camera charger
+ food, more than you think you’ll need in case of delays
+ magazine, sudoku? (ha, ha)

Advice on On-line advice

I think everyone has their favorite on-line sites for advice when things seem overwhelming as a parent or during pregnancy. Sometimes it's a challenge to weed through and find the ones that match your parenting philosophy. Here are two that I usually find really helpful and not too alarmist:

http://altdotlife.com/archives/category/parenting/
You have to go through a quick registration process to access it, but their alt.mama forum has lots of great info.

http://parents.berkeley.edu/
Some of this is very region-centric, but a lot of the parenting forum info is applicable to anyone, anywhere.

Baby-parent food: Kabocha-Spinach Soup

I really like to cook so I always imagined I would make my own baby food. While there are twin parents who seem to be able to do it right off the bat, I found getting my girls eating was enough of a challenge. Making their food was something I put on hold for a bit. Now that they're 9 months and happy eaters of lots of different foods, I'm trying to figure out recipes I can cook for THEM and US. Multi-tasking is the name of the game.

This is the first recipe that I tried that has made a meal for all four of us. It's Kabocha Squash-Spinach Soup.

Soup for the girls (left), Soup for the grown-ups (right):

It's long been a favorite of mine and I've served it to lots of company and everyone always loves it. Pair it with salad and bread and wine and done. It's perfect for twin parents: you don't have to peel Kabocha squash since the rind is edible (and tasty) so that's yet another time saver. And the flavor is very rich without any stock, so it's just straight up water and veggies. I just took out a couple ladles full of soup to puree for the girls before adding the salt and pepper. And voila! It even freezes well for them.

The girls' green school bus

We've gotten lots of hand me down toy vehicles... all of which are the worst emitters on the road: buses, dump trucks, tractors. I figure we're trying to raise the girls so they're aware of the environment. Besides, my husband works in energy policy. So I scavenged the internet and I finally found these toy sized biodiesel stickers - you have to scroll down to the second product and choose the right size (4 inches). Smallest I could find.

Twinsight #4: WHAT TO BUY NEW

I'm a big proponent of buying things used - good for $$ and for the earth. But these are the things we decided to get new, or else were given and really appreciated. So if people are asking what they can buy you, here are the new items that were really handy for us.

• Convertible carseats - Big ticket item and these will probably be used for long enough that getting these new is a fine idea. We chose the Britax Roundabouts because we have a sedan and couldn't fit two bigger seats in the rear facing position (something to think about when you're looking at those seats)
  
• Personalized towels - Initially I got towels in two different colors and just said I would remember who was which color. Yeah, right, not in those first sleep deprived weeks/months (though it may work for you if you're color coding other things in their lives). And then we got these personalized towels as a gift. No more mixing up the towels. I highly recommend it, plus these from Company Kids are adorable and soft. I can't believe I'm recommending monogrammed towels!
• Soothie pacifier – perfect for tiny faces, they don’t smush noses on preemies/small babies the way that standard pacifiers do - and there's always a good chance twins will be born little. Seems like online is the easiest place to find them.
  
• Crib sheets - We just got a three pack to start with and that has been all right so far.
  
• Crib mattress - We got a Colgate II mattress recommended by a baby shopping bargains book and we've been very happy with it!
• 2 baby calendars – Ours is this one (pictured right), but there are lots of options. It's easier to keep up than baby books, and with twins, time is everything.
  
• Ergo baby carrier - (unless you get lucky and find a good deal on one used. But I've found they tend to sell for almost as much as a new one). While I loved how the babies can face out in the Baby Bjorns, at around 6 months they just got TOO heavy. And these are good on your back as promised. They're great for travel, too. It's really key with twins to have one good carrier because there will be times you have to carry both and putting one in a carrier while holding the other is much more secure than doing both freestyle.
  

• Two other items to ask for from people who want to get you something: 1) a session with a baby/family photographer around 6 or 7 months when the babies start sitting up, but before they can crawl away. Great to look forward to because with twins there usually isn’t a parent free to take pictures; 2) gift cards to places with food To Go in your area

I'd love to hear other peoples' suggestions on this, too!

Twinsight #3: WHAT TO BUY USED

I'm a big proponent of getting infant items used. Now on top of the old fashioned resale shops and loaners from friends, craigslist, eBay and freecycle are great resources. It's good for your wallet and the environment. I KNOW I'm not the only twin parent who is a big fan of used stuff because more than 50% of the families I meet when buying and selling through craigslist have twins.

Also, multiple groups (like the San Francisco Parents of Multiples Club) and local parents groups (like the Berkeley Parents Network) are great places to find used stuff posted for free. Jump on that bandwagon!

Here is my list of great items to try to get used as you prepare for your twins' arrival:

• Infant carseats - I know the industry always says buy carseats new, but you use these for such a short period. I found a twins family I trusted who said theirs hadn't been in an accident and I was very happy to go with that.
• A double snap n go stroller - If you do a lot of walking on not great sidewalks or uphills, I highly recommend scavenging for a used Double Decker stroller (see pic). Otherwise a straight ahead double snap n go should be fine for the few months this item is useful.

• A single snap n go stroller - I loved putting one baby in a Bjorn and the other in a single snap n go for strolls around the neighborhood. Also, good way to go into places like cafes where there isn't much room.
• Nursing pillow - if you're planning to try tandem nursing. I tried two and the best one in the beginning was the EZ-2-Nurse-Twins. Definitely try to get this from the multiple club's loaner library or another mother.
  
• Futon and/or glider. I found it much easier to tandem nurse on a futon at first. For the first 7 months or so it was really helpful to have the room on either side of my nursing pillow to arrange the girls. Now that they're bigger I use a glider without a nursing pillow. And don't forget the nursing stool!! (and I don't mean the gliding ottoman which just doesn't do you much good with twins I think)
• Full-size Co-sleeper or bassinet
• Crib - perfect thing to find used. Just make sure the slats are the regulation distance apart, but otherwise it's a piece of solid furniture that should be able to go through lots of families.
  
• Long dresser that can double as a changing table if you throw a changing pad on it
• Changing pad
• Swing – love the Papasan swing by Fisher Price but anything that has both side to side and front to back action is good

• Two Slings and two Baby Bjorns - We used the slings for only a few weeks in the beginning. But they were very useful. Especially when the babes are small and vulnerable people won't go sticking their hands all over the kiddos if you take them out in slings. And as for Bjorns, I can't say enough good things about Bjorns. I was very sad when I had to switch to a backpack because the girls just got too heavy.
• Miracle blankets, size small, very helpful for all the swaddling you do in the beginning, good to find on eBay
• Halo sleep sacks, most useful sizes would be M and L, since you’ll likely be swaddling in the beginning, good to find on eBay
• Zutano booties, size 0-6 months - These are simply the best things ever if you have twins born in the fall or winter. You'll be worried about keeping their feet warm, but I'm SURE will not have time to keep running after socks that constantly fall off. These booties stay on and are nice and fleecy. And since babies aren't walking yet, these are the perfect thing to find used.
  
• Hanna Andersson moccasins, size 6-12 months - I know Robeez are really cute and hip, but don't underestimate the work that putting on socks and then another layer of shoes takes. Especially with two wriggling, giggling beings. These moccasins are perfect for when babies need a non-slip tread but you don't want to deal with separate socks. Again that sounds like no big deal, but simplify!
  

And for later on (months 6-12) here are a few useful things to keep an eye out for:

• Exersaucer and jumperoo - anything that will help contain one while you attend to the other is key
• Double stroller - we chose an older Maclaren Twin Traveller. You can often find used MacLarens in great condition from people with two different aged kids whose toddler outgrew the stroller quickly. So far the Maclaren has been perfect for hopping in and out of the car and for airplanes. On travel it's been great for having them sleep, eat and, of course, stroll in.
• Foam puzzle mat - so they can fall all that they need to as they learn to sit up, stand up, crawl and walk and you get a little more peace of mind.

Tomorrow... some items to buy new.

Boggle for the baby-locked

Tandem breastfeeding means you can't move around too easily. Frequently I find myself baby-locked, making mental lists but otherwise at odds for something to do as they chug their meals. But then along came this colorful foam mat...


We put it down to absorb the babies' falls. But it doubles as a glorified Boggle mat while I'm nursing the chicas. And it's addictive. So far the longest word I found in the mat was "Intruding" (yes I allow myself to reuse letters). The mat configuration above hasn't been the most fruitful for word hunting, but it gives you an idea of what I'm talking about. My fave word I found in the pic above is "queued."

If you have a foam mat and the same nursing dilemma I described, give it a try!

Speaking of "baby footprints"...

On the subject of "baby footprints" (below), this is a new game to evaluate the consequences of your consumer habits. Full disclosure: it was created by my frequent employer. It takes about 10 minutes. It's fun and interesting, though not specifically related to twins. The only tangential connection I can come up with is that a parent of infant twins probably shouldn't be spending his/her time in the world of e-games and avatars!

http://sustainability.publicradio.org/consumerconsequences/

I learned that the areas I really need to concentrate on are improving my transportation use and food consumption. You can also compare your habits to others in various categories. Another twin tangent... you can compare yourself to others instead of trying to avoid making comparisons between your kids.

Sew sew

I've started doing a little sewing for the girls and a friend passed on these pics of easy kid sewing which I really liked...


















Also, she gave me a heads up on these two websites which have fabulous vintage-style fabrics. Very hip, and happily not the bright, mod, hit-you-over-the-head prints that are really popular these days. It's the traditionalist in me speaking, but those clothes just don't seem baby friendly to me. I'm all for color and patterns, I just like my a little more toned down and, apparently (gasp!) cutesy. The e-stores are Reprodepot and Purl Soho.

Reducing my "baby footprint"

"The Expedition"






VERSUS

"the Escort"

So there's a lot of talk about reducing our carbon footprint, but I spend even more time these days focused on my baby footprint.

I live in an urban baby haven and so there's lots of stroller action on the street. At a certain point the sidewalks get pretty filled up. Unfortunately our apartment is on a hill with crappy sidewalks, so it's pretty tempting to take the double jog stroller out for hitting the grocery store and cafe just to make getting home easier (getting home is the uphill slog). But ease of pushing is outweighed these days by wanting to streamline.

I don't think I'm the only one in this mindset. I have one friend who just traded her Mountain Buggy for a Cosco umbrella stroller (which she calls her ford escort). In a way it makes sense. Mirrors the cultural shift of the cool cars from SUVs to the Honda Fit.

With twins it just means carrying one in a pack and putting the other in a single umbrella stroller.

I actually don't think that the outsized baby footprint has a ton to do with good old fashioned American materialism... or even keeping up with the Joneses. My guess it's more people who get baby-geared up while the kiddo(s) are still cooking. We're part of a society that thankfully gives you a bit of control over most aspects of your life. When pregnant - especially with the first - you really have very little control over what's to come and what to expect, so researching equipment to buy becomes a substitute.

Twinsight #2: Whether or not to hire help

Gimmee your ear!

So someone on the twins list serve just posted asking a very common twins-parent-to-be question: should they hire help with their newborns? This woman followed up with: if not, how did those without hired help do it? I responded and found myself typing more and more and more. Thought I'd post it here in case it's useful to someone else.

MY TAKE ON HOW WE MANAGED WITHOUT HIRED HELP

Hi there,
Before our girls arrived 7-1/2 months ago, we thought about the help question a lot and even collected some names and numbers. But in the end for financial reasons didn't hire help and we didn't regret that decision at all. In fact I think we were really happy looking back on the first month or two that it was such an intimate experience, i.e. without anyone we didn't really know well around. It's also empowering to just know that you can do it, and I think it helped us get back to normalcy more quickly (normalcy is the wrong word, but at least back at some of the things we enjoy doing... travel, exploring, visiting with friends, etc.)

To address the practical side of how we did it, I think the biggest key was that we had an amazing support network we could mobilize for various tasks. My parents and brother and sister-in-law live about 30 minutes away and I can't diminish the importance of that. Though even if you don't have family, but have been established here for a while with a few close, understanding friends, that could potentially serve the same function. This was sort of how our division of labor broke down and how people helped us:
+ my husband took off of work for the first month, so we both just powered through our sleep deprivation together, waking up together for feedings and changings
+ our friends created a food tree, so people would drop homemade food off every 2-3 days and stay to chat and hold the babies for maybe 30 minutes max (they were warned not to pay an extended social call!)
+ Having close friends and family who can come by to hold the babies for an hour or so every other day will allow you to take a nap, or send emails, etc.
+ we have family in the area so one of them would come by to help with shopping for the first few months (grocery shopping, dropping off nursing bras I'd requested, etc). Having people who can run shopping errands for you is key.
+ And I had a friend whose baby was 3 months ahead of the girls stop by to act as something of a breastfeeding coach in the beginning. She was able to help me get them latched on and just offer encouragement and relaxing words.
+ Our family and some very close friends also helped out with kitchen cleaning during some of their visits.
+ Around the twins' 2 month birthday we had 2 professional house cleaners come through and give the house a top to bottom cleaning. That really took care of all the accumulated grunge and at that point we were able to start taking better care of sweeping, toilet cleaning, on a more regular (but still infrequent) basis

I know it's a tough decision during a tough period of not knowing what's ahead, how you'll feel after their delivery, etc. I did have vaginal delivery but had tearing and so it wasn't an easy recovery (having someone who could make trips to the drugstore for painkillers, pads, etc. who wasn't my husband was key). Still we got through it all without night help which some people had suggested we just had to have. Parenting twins in the beginning is not easy, but as their personalities emerge around 3 months everything gets so much better.

I think also because we didn't have help, feeling comfortable getting out with the girls early was important. Just walking to the coffee shop in the early weeks and writing thank you notes there until the girls woke up and we had to scoot home, was important social contact. Though I was ready to bonk all the people who saw me out with the girls on the street and said, "enjoy this time, it goes so quickly." For me every day felt like an eternity. But now I actually understand what those people meant... though I think I'm still close enough to that period that I wouldn't use the imperative "enjoy it", I'd say "get through it in as good spirits as you can." Oh, and if you do decide against night help, always agree with your partner before you go to sleep who is handling night feedings and how... you don't want to have those discussions in the middle of the night. In our experience that was when we were most likely to get cross.

Also, and this is totally apart from the help question, something I've come to feel strongly is that the whole parenting twins thing is walking a tightrope. It's important to cut yourself slack because you have twins, but at the same time you can't use having twins as an excuse for some decision. Of course only you can decide what parenting issues fall into which category, but for me just remembering that distinction is important.

I hope some of this has been helpful. I wish you all the best on your coming babies. Don't hesitate to call if you have any follow up questions...

More nostalgia...

So I just found a computer diary entry from a few days before the girls were born. It's funny to look back on now...

36 weeks: t-????
At this point the girls will be considered full term if I go into labor, so there will be no stopping them.

A. and I are having a heated discussion about, of all the things, whether to replace the batteries in the hand me down baby equipment we've received. A. is an eclectic music freak and says he doesn’t want his daughters brainwashed into thinking Mozart is the only gig out there. So he wants to leave the old run down batteries in the bouncy chair. They make its "Circus medley" song sound like a DJ Screw piece - he's the H-town artist famous for making SLOOOOOW, drawn out music while sippin' syrup (ie Robitussin). I think I may prevail on this one.

So it was also around that time we were practicing all the things we'd been learning in clases, from breathing techniques to infant CPR. And...

A. is practicing cloth diaper techniques on Elvis Satan Bear. If you could see this red teddy bear with two white fangs, you'd notice one of the pearly whites was chewed off. That dental work came courtesy of our cat Max Power. Which brings up another subject. I’ve had a hard time finding practical info on cats with babies so I’ll post at some point about how it goes getting him used to the twins. Our vet has suggested he could prescribe Max an anti-anxiety drug. We’ll see if it comes to that. I just worry if we start down that road it won’t be long before A. and I jump on that bandwagon.

What a difference 7 months makes

(yes, they did swap sides in these photos)

Public transport with twins

So the best way I could figure out to get around NYC with twins was to stick one in a baby carrier and push the other in a small umbrella stroller. It worked great on the subway. But on the bus they actually do make you fold up the stroller. So you are dependent on the kindness of strangers. But that's all good. It's part of the zen immersion experience that is twins. You can't plan anything, you just have to be in the moment.

In fact it turned out the hardest part of the whole experience was letting my guard down and letting people help me. Not at all what I would have expected. But as a vanity (?!) licence plate I recently saw read, this is all about INRWORK.

Walking down the street

Things change when you walk down the street with twins.

"Twins?"
I nod yes.
"Oh my god!"
"That's what we said."
Everybody laughs and I walk on.

That's the best case scenario.

It's really strange the questions people choose to ask given the opportunity. It's often pretty straight forward, like "two boys? two girls?" But occasionally that one question burning at the front of their mind is "Do they wake each other up with their crying?", "Do you ever use a babysitter?" or 'Can they read each others' thoughts?"

Even walking the streets of Manhattan is different with the 2 A's. Andy is much better at extricating himself from random strangers, but I had 2 10 minute conversations with older women. One had twins of her own and wanted to tell me all about their acocmplishments. The second lectured me about my responsibility to raise the girls with good manners and kindness in their hearts towards all people. Now how am I supposed to just walk off in the middle of that? Even if I did have somewhere to go...