Thought for the holidays

So we're all managing holiday chaos, I'm sure. Fortunately things are pretty low drama here, although there was a family moment today while my mom and I were trying to coordinate for a joint party. She told me I was being hard on her, which I know I often am. But I REALLY wasn't this time and she sounded honestly upset. So I called back to ask my dad if everything was OK. Sure enough it wasn't about me at all.

"Ah well," he said. Then he kind of sighed and chuckled. "We're just adjusting to married life."

And they've been married 40 years. Turns out they'd had a disagreement over a shopping list. But my dad's words hit a chord with me. Life is so full of adjustments. Good to never stop being open to them.

Just a thought headed into the heart of the holidays.

Twinsight #9: sleep training twins

Gimmee your ear!

This was our approach to sleep training our twins. We didn't want to do a total cry it out thing. But we also weren't ready to just follow their lead and not sleep all night.

Tied up in their sleep training was the fact that they were still snacking in the night at 6 months. So what we did was get up with them when they cried, but walk them around until an appointed hour for the feeding, every other night pushing it out a half hour later. So the first night they would feed at 3:30 but then the next night if they got up before 4 we walked around with them until they nursed at 4. The next night ditto, til 4. The next night we walked around with them till 4:30, the next night ditto, till 4:30.

They did actually sleep longer and longer when they realized they weren't going to get food before that. The following night was 5 am. Once they got to 5 am, I then used the tactic of reducing the minutes of the feeding. If they were both nursing about 10 minutes the first night, every night I reduced the amount of time they could nurse by one minute. I think once we got down 2, or maybe 3?, minutes they ended up dropping the nighttime feeding. But they did wake up early - between 5:30 and 6 am -- and did for a long time after. But they were sleeping through the night. It seems like a really involved process. But I couldn't bear to hear them cry and so that was our (exhausting in the short run, but worked in the long run) solution.

Key point... work out your plan for the night with your partner BEFORE going to bed. Waking up to screaming babies when you're exhausted doesn't set the stage for terribly kindhearted conversations. So much better to know exactly what you're doing and then there's nothing to argue about.

Give a gift, support my friends!

The economic downturn has me doing a turn around on my usual, buy nothing attitude for the holidays. This year I'm trying to support friends' businesses. Here are two with reasonably priced, fun stuff who also sell on the internet:

Little Miss Matched - my friend from high school started this company about 5 years ago. He started with socks in packs of three, which are still the best all-around gift pick on the site. BUT these mismatched gloves (also in packs of three) are pretty brilliant because if you lose one, you're still good to go. And I always get compliments on them when I wear them.


Krank Press - This stuff is gorgeous letter press. And it's useful. Who doesn't need a pack of Thank You or cool novelty cards for the holidays? Also, Nor's wildlife calendars and cards are really great. We always stay with Nor when we go down to LA and I'm always wowed by her letterpress operation set up in the garage and front room of her little house. And she pulls this off on top of a demanding job in architecture.

Twin girl silliness - an ad for Best Buy in Canada

It's kinda funny. Plus, Best Buy was the only big box retailer that was vaguely helpful on the story I had to do this week. Thank you to them for not being scared of the media.

Bookflix! Another free internet resources for kids and toddlers

My girls are surprisingly far into new media. They don't do twitter, but this article in the New York Times about cyber visits with grandparents could have featured them. And they are very well versed in vintage Sesame Street sketches thanks to YouTube and their Dad.

Here's another great online educational resource for kids. It's a new service by Scholastic called Bookflix. It basically offers read along versions of children's book classics from Harry the Dirty Dog to Chicka Chicka Boom Boom. It has them in Spanish too.

The catch is that it does cost money. The uncatch is that you can access it for free through some public libraries. The closest library I've found to our home that has bookflix access for free is the San Francisco Public Library. Fortunately my husband and mom have cards there so I can access it that way. However any California resident can sign up for a card by going to any SFPL branch. You can try to search for your local library and see if they have an onramp to bookflix.

Fits the bill of this site: budget AND simple AND ecofriendly (though plenty energy eating servers firing away acknowledged for those who are purists).

Good deal on rain and snow boots for twins

There's a "buy two boots, get 20% off" sale right now at endless.com. They have free shipping and return policy. So while used is always best for the pocketbook and environment, from a convenience standpoint I jumped in this puddle. And now I don't have to worry about the rain that's forecast for today -- except what to do with the girls. But more on good indoor budget activities next post...

Great site for internet coupon codes

When I buy online I often check this site:



As always reuse is best, but there are also plenty times when it's only appropriate to go new. Like buying off-registry. Or when you're about to miss a cross country gift deadline. And when you're on a budget this is a great site to hit. I remembering hitting a great coupon code for REI.com on here.

Great tool for setting up meal drops!

Or trying to make just about any other kind of group decision.

It's a group planning website called Doodle.

We use it for deciding times for my book club, and even WHEN the book group should meet.

If you're trying to set up a meal drop for a family with a new baby, you just email friends a link to a calendar you set up on the site. People can fill in their preferences for which days are best. By the end you'll have a good idea of what day works best for everyone with minimal fuss!

Pass it on....

Who's the decider??

A New York Times article not long ago prompted a lot of discussion among my friends. It was about totally equal co-parenting. Possible to have true equality in that area or no?

Now here's another article that's somewhat related from USA Today. There's a link to a website where you can take a quiz to see how well household decisions are split in your household. And you can also look at the national research results. Just for fun!

GoodGuide.com: useful new site

Here's a link to story I was assigned this week. It's about a useful new site that just launched. You can look up consumer products and get immediate scores back on health, environment and social performance. If you want to drill down and get more info you can.

It just launched with personal care and household cleaning products. Up next: Food, electronics and toy ratings. And of course, an iPhone app.

Not the way you want your kid to smell...

So we've entered the realm of potties and potty learning and so there are a whole lot more opportunities for the girls to stick their hands in stuff that's heretofore been tucked away in their diapers. Today it was poop. As many cleaning products as I tried I couldn't get the telltale smell off of my daughter's hand. In fact, I'd noticed that sometimes that smell sticks around my hands even after washing when changing their dirty diapers. Then a friend brought over a bar of sandalwood soap which she says worked magic for her. It worked great. Looking forward to using it on my own hands after certain diaper changes.

Once and for all: Are plastic bags really worse than paper?

I know that the most environmental thing is always to bring reusable bags to the store and I do that as often as I can. However sometimes...But when I am going to get the store's bags I really want plastic. I can use those in all our trash cans in the house as well as for diaper disposal on the go. But with the recent plastic bag bans around here, I'm actually hitting a shortage sometimes. My Mom had to import some for me from where she lives. We reuse the paper bags too for collecting newspaper recycling, but I definitely notice that those have started piling up a little, whereas we always had a way to reuse the plastic bags quickly and again and again. Sometimes it was to pack shoes in for trips, sometimes it was to carry sippy cups around to make sure they don't spill in my backpack. And once they were at the end of their useful life they became garbage/diaper bags.

That rant is courtesy of this article I just ran across on the New York Times website that has info debunking the whole "paper bags are better for the environment" argument (you have to scroll down a little to find it). Found it interesting because I'd heard the argument just not seen the data. Though again I will reiterate, reusable bags, always better...

Great food for teaching your babies to spoon feed themsleves

With twins it's especially important to get kids learning to do stuff for themselves early. When you have to spoon feed two, for example, it's a real chore. But then I decided to let the girls have at the spoons themselves... I quickly discovered the MESS that two can make when learning to feed themselves with a spoon often takes more effort to clean than just sucking it up and holding the spoons for them.

I discovered the best learner food for using a spoon was mixing whole plain yogurt with a natural food thickener like granola. Initially I mixed a few big spoons of yogurt with a scant 1/4 cup of nut-free granola in a small container. I'd mix it up the night before, let it soften and thicken in the fridge and then give it to the girls to feed themselves in the morning for breakfast or their snack. I found that there's often a nut-free blueberry flavor granola in the bulk food section of many grocery stores. Also Trader Joe's has the Granola and the Three Berries which is nut free. (You could probably make your own too. I don't have my act together for that, but if I did I'd do a nut-free variation on this recipe which is delish).

This is a great paste like concoction that is hard for the toddlers to splatter everywhere. And if it falls of their spoon you can just pick up the little clump and put it back in their bowl. Since they've gotten a little more proficient we've moved on to yogurt mixed with fruit compote (as in pic above). The yogurt's consistency is more liquidy with chunks of cooked dried fruit.

My recipe for compote is basically throwing mixed dried fruits in a pot, say dried cherries, raisins, apricots and nectarines, and then adding 2 cups orange juice, 2 cinnamon sticks and a sprinkle of cloves. I simmer it until it's really soft, but watch to make sure all the liquid hasn't evaporated. Before stirring it into the yogurt I chop it to the appropriate size for their chewing ability.

On a related note: I've been doing this with my girls for months now and it's a still a very messy proposition. So I heartily recommend this piece of equipment: Bumkins junior bibs (see left). Somehow the pocket at the bottom catches almost everything they can throw down and the full shoulder protection is mighty helpful.

We are getting somewhere, though. When they eat things like peas now they insist on spoons and while they put them on the spoons with their fingers, it's still a step in the right direction.

Recommendation for the digital converter box: Digital Stream

This goes in the category of things to save some money and simplify life...

Rabbit ears for your TV are nearing obsolesence. So because we rely on broadcast TV, not cable, we had to hop on the bandwagon and order our special digital converter box. You get a $40 voucher to buy one of these things... a box that brings your rabbit ears into the new millenium. After some research we ended up with the $60 Digital Stream converter from Radio Shack. So we paid $20 out of pocket in the end.

We were pretty skeptical before receiving it, assuming somehow there'd be something in the whole changeover for the cable companies and expecting the worst for our signal. Instead, we now have crystal clear broadcast reception of all the local networks, 3 PBS stations, innumerable foreign language and worship channels and even a weather and traffic station. Of course we still couldn't find anything to watch - the two finalists for our inagural viewing tonight were COPS and Antique Roadshow.

But just wanted to put in a plug for anyone who has basic cable and doesn't really use it. This new converter box might be more than enough and it's a single $20 pay out rather than monthly charges. Every house is eligible for up to 2 $40 vouchers.

Telecommunications industry side note: my husband and I were talking about this recent news that AT&T has lost 10% of its landline customers in the past year. It's amazing how this confirms that in the past few years cell phones went from the luxury item to landlines being the luxury item. That's the service people are shedding in hard economic times. For what it's worth the girls definitely seem to make cell phones their go to pretend phone item... "open it" "close it" they say when they hold up a Lego to use as a phone.

Mama Law 101

So I just had one of those bad days. Where I could actually say "So I was standing talking to a cop to file the police report, when I got stung by a bee." All's well that ends well but, sheesh.

Today just a news heads up for any video making mamas out there. A lawsuit just got under way by a mom suing Universal Music Corp. She got slammed by Universal's lawyers for posting a 29 second video of her 13-month-old dancing to Prince's "Let's Go Crazy" on YouTube. They claim copyright infrignement, she says it's perfectly legal use of the music for NONCOMMERICAL purposes. She's being represented in her fight against Universal by the Electronic Frontier Foundation. They're good people. I've often interviewed them for stories. Consider them the "eACLU."

Twinsight #8: Weaning twins

Gimmee your ear!

After all the work to get the girls breastfeeding together, I hardly believed there would come a day when I would be trying to figure out how and when they might stop. But sure enough that day came. And since mine recently weaned themselves, thought I'd share how it came about...

It happened somewhat gradually. They went from nursing 6 times a day at one year (morning, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, before bed) down to 5 times by 13 months (I dropped out the before bed feeding).

During that month they were getting used to drinking cows milk so in the following month (month 13) that we just dropped out their nursing snacks (the morning one first and then 2 weeks later the afternoon snack).

Then in month 14 I dropped their lunch time nursing until we were reliably down to twice a day by the end of the month.

So at 15 months they were nursing twice a day - when they woke up and then before their solid food dinner. I was pretty OK with doing that... especially because I knew that on the rare days my work kept my away until after their bedtime they were fine without that nurse and it wasn't the end of the world. (I work part time and usually from home).

I was fully prepared to keep nursing until they decided they were done. It didn't look like the end was in sight at all - one of my daughters was especially attached to nursing the other seemed to enjoy the company more than anything. But then when they were about 17.5 months I had to work late two nights in a row and they skipped their evening feed and it so happened the following two mornings I slept in and my husband got up with the girls and I was too tired to nurse them and they didn't clamor for it and after those 2 days of no nursing morning or evening passed, they just seemed to forget about it! I was shocked.

I kept pumping at night in case they wanted to do it again and one of them did say "pillow" and "nurse" about 2 days later (we always nursed on a pillow), but because it was at a time when we ordinarily didn't nurse at that point I felt OK saying, "no not right now" and she never brought it up again.

I hand expressed my milk in a hot shower for about 5 nights after that and that was the end of things. I was shocked, but happy. I think it was the right time for all of us.

Wholesome mac 'n' cheese with veggies for your toddler

This still has cheese and milk and a little butter, but it is also made with whole wheat pasta and chock full of veggies. An easy all in one meal that your toddler and the big people in the house will down with gusto. It's also a great easy to reheat casserole to bring to a new mom as a "sunshine meal" (that's why I'm making the mac 'n' cheese pictured below in a disposable pan).

I've taken an old recipe my mom used for us growing up and made it about as quick and easy as a dinner dish could be (caveat: assuming you have a food processor).

Here's what you need...
EASY WHOLE WHEAT MAC AND CHEESE WITH VEGGIES

8 oz. whole wheat pasta (penne, spirals, easy ones like these for tots to hold are good)

1 sweet bell pepper
2 medium green zuchinni
2 medium carrots
(or the equivalent of the above in fresh, seasonal veggies - about 4 cups shredded, packed)

8 oz. cheddar cheese, cubed
2 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoons flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
dash of pepper (if you want)
2 cups hot milk (I use a glass 2 cup measure to heat the milk in the microwave)

1/2 cup whole wheat bread crumbs (I make them whenever I have bread around that's getting a little stale and keep them in the freezer)

Preheat the oven to 350 F

Start out by putting water on to boil to make the pasta. Next wash the veggies and put them through a grater blade in the food processor.


Once the vegetables are grated in the food processor, transfer them to another bowl and put in the metal blending blade. Now it's time to make the "sauce." Check the water pot on the stove and ideally it's boiling so you can start cooking the pasta now according to the directions on the package. Once the pasta is in the pot, I set a timer for 3 minutes LESS than it will take the pasta to cook thoroughly. When the timer rings I throw in the grated veggies to just cook briefly.

Put the milk in the microwave to heat. While that's going on, with the metal blending blade in place put the cheese cubes, flour, butter, salt, and pepper in the processor bowl. Once the milk is almost boiling, cover and turn on the processor and start pouring the milk slowly (and carefully) in through the feeding tube. The cheese will melt as the milk pours in and if you let it run for about 40 seconds it will turn into a nice cheese sauce.


Hopefully the timer has rung and you've added the veggies. After a few minutes when the pasta and veggies are ready, you can strain it. Now put the pasta and veggies in a casserole dish. I believe I use a 2 quart. Cover the pasta with the cheese sauce and stir to mix. Cover this with the bread crumbs. Put the pan in the oven. Bake for 30 minutes. It's done when it's bubbling. YUM.
I'm actually curious how this stacks up cost-wise to store bought organic mac n cheese and veggies so I'm going to try to do that ounce for ounce cost comparison in the next week and will post.

More travel tips with twin toddlers

+ Don't forget to pack: Stain remover stick - though you need to put it in your checked bag, not the carry-on. I had one confiscated from me at security once since it broke the 3 oz. liquid and gel rule. These are infinitely handy since washing machines and soaking buckets aren't often at hand on trips. A small bottle of dishwashing soap - It's great to have this around for washing out bottles and sippy cups. Both of these are things that you can of course buy at a drug soter or supermarket, but it's nice to just know you have them.

+ Don't plan on eating at full service sit down restaurants (unless this works for you ordinarily). My girls have lots of energy and while we've found it's OK to go to the kinds of restaurants where you order at the counter and then get your food, we've not yet had a successful meal with the girls at a full-on full-service restaurant. One or the other just has to get up and run around, or they start crying form being confined so long, or they're hungry and the food just isn't coming. So our current M.O. is to eat picnic style breakfast and lunch and then eat dinner after the girls go to bed. If we're with family, we take turn leaving one person with the sleeping girls and everyone else goes and enjoys a fully relaxing dinner and brings back take out to the remaining person. If we're just the two of us, one person goes out and brings back take out.

+ We've found that for us, small town destinations are a lot easier to manage with twin toddlers than big cities. This was a surprise because we always preferred going to big cities for all the activities accessible in a small area and lots of things to see generally. But something my mom said about my childhood in a small town sums it up. She told my husband that I used to do cartwheels down the aisles of our local grocery store. And that's the thing, kids can do that kind of thing in a small town without the kind of sidelong glances you'd get in a big city. And our goal now is to go wherever we'll feel most welcome with all the chaos we bring in tow.

+ The longer the better. A little counterintuitive, but once you get somewhere it just pays to settle in enjoy.

Flying tips with infant and toddler twins

We just got back from our family vacation for the summer: 10 days visiting family in Casper, Wyoming. It was a great time, but there were plenty logistics involved in the flight to Denver and 4 hour drive to Casper. And lots of time in the car to write down some of the lessons from 16 air flights with twins:

• Our policy over the last 18 months was to "lap baby" our girls for flights under 2-1/2 hours. Otherwise we always bought a 3rd seat. When lap babying bring a copy of their birth certificate to the airport so you can prove their age. Some airlines seem to require it others, some don't, so you can't go wrong having it.
  
• When flying with two lap babies there's the whole issue of the parents not being able to sit in the same bank of seats because there are not sufficient oxygen masks for more than one lap baby. Once we entered the realm of squirmy babies we found that rather than sitting across the aisle from each other, it worked out well to sit one in front of another. This way the most squirmy daughter would be held by the parent in back and she was just kicking into another parent rather than a random passenger, which can be stressful.
  
• Also because of the oxygen mask situation, if you're still breastfeeding while traveling with lap babies just be comfortable with the fact that you'll be breastfeeding in close quarters with a stranger. Even if the aisle or window is on one side, another passenger will probably be on the other side.
• Both of those scenarios hold true for a full flight, which a lot of planes are these days. But always make sure to ask at the gate how many empty seats they might expect so you can try to grab an extra one (at least on Southwest... other airlines may be helpful in trying to get you a "soft block" on the seat adjacent to yours).
• Pre-boarding isn't necessarily your friend. We've learned that on flights with reserved seating it's sometimes just as well to be one of the last to board. That way the babies can crawl/run around as much as possible before getting on. And it's not like we have a rolling suitcase we're toting around that needs precious overhead bin space.
  

• Don't have any expectations of the flight attendants. While on some trips our flight attendants have been amazing saviors -- walked the girls up and down the aisle, holding them while I used the bathroom -- other flights have been nightmares. I've a seen a team roll their eyes at each other and even make some nasty comments about kids on their last flight as they saw us boarding. I've also had a flight attendant who paused and wrinkled his nose every time before collecting our trash saying "is that a dirty diaper?" Um, no it's clearly a peanut wrapper. If you're on the sensitive side like me feeling unwelcome makes a stressful situation worse. I've discovered it works best to board the plane with the lowest expectations for support and then usually be very pleasantly surprised. To be fair to flight attendants I'm sure they have their share of miserable stories dealing with kids. And on the dirty diaper note, I've found the best way to stay on the flight crew's good side is to have plenty bags at hand in order to double bag dirty diapers and bring them to the flight attendants so they can put them in the designated place for human waste (on some airlines that's the bathroom and in other cases it goes in the galley trash).
• DONT' FORGET: from 0-6 months make SURE to bring lots of diapers and changes of clothes. My friends and I have never put our finger on the cause (pressurization? all the extra nursing the kids do by moms desperate to keep them calm?) but messy poop explosions multiply on airplane flights. One of my 2-1/2 month olds went through 3 changes of clothes on a 4-1/2 hour flight. from 6-12 months a toy they have never seen before. At the beginning when baby gifts are rolling in put aside a few toys for travel occassions. Novelty works. from 1-2 years a DoodlePro travel-sized pad... it's one of those magnetic drawing boards that you can wipe clean and oh my goodness it is the perfect thing for first drawing FOR your kids and then once they get older (say 18 months) letting them go at it on their own.
  

Here comes the sunscreen

I have a good friend who works in maternal-child health and environmental toxicities for the state. She read up on sunscreens made with the least possible harmful substances and then went out and bought me this brand... Hawaiian Tropics Baby Faces. Yup, turns out it's not Aveeno or California Baby or anything like that.

In addition to being a good sunscreen, the bottle shape is great. A small bottle just kind of clicks into the large one like a puzzle (my husband the chemical engineer said "I wonder what kind of processing plant it takes to produce this!").

I take the travel size everywhere - of course I also learned last year to refill a bunch of the small bottles we have that used to be full of hotel shampoo with sunscreen and stash them in the car, every stroller we own and the diaper bag. Somehow on the hottest days I was always caught without sunscreen and that can ruin a perfectly good day at the park.

Baby and toddler proof your dining room

Before kids we had a pretty low-maintenance (I thought) eating area... an old but pleasant teak table and chairs with upholstered seats. We used place mats to protect the table and had a sisal rug on the floor.

Turns out this was possibly the worst possible combo with messy babies and toddlers. The texture of sisal rugs traps all kinds of food that's thrown on the floor and forget about cleaning up spills. Meanwhile the unfinished teak was susceptible to water and heat damage. And there appeared to be nothing the girls liked more than reaching up and pulling down the place mats. Ditto for lots of tablecloths we tried. And since room is scarce for two highchairs, we had booster seats strapped onto two of our chairs which wasn't doing wonders for the upholstered seats. Here's how we stumbled through making the daily dining space kid proofed and also not terrible looking:

First we had to come up with a table covering before the teak top got irreparably ruined. We ended up getting some Mexican-style oilcloth (below). It cleans up REALLY easily, plus the back has a sort of stickiness to it so that it stays in place fairly well. At first I used binder clips clip it all together under the table so the girls couldn't pull it off. But now I just let it hang loose and with a fairly generous overhang it hasn't been a problem at all.

Next issue was the upholstered seats. First I tried an old flannel backed tablecloth that I had lying around and cut it in half. Then I wrapped the seats bottoms up with it like a present and secured it with duct tape. After a while the tape failed and it ended up looking pretty terrible. And with all the folds and the textured vinyl material it just didn't clean up very well.

So I finally went and got some smooth plastic tablecloth material that they sell by the yard at the local longs. It was clear with cute frogs on it. This time I took the 30 minutes to actually take the seat bottoms off and use thumbtacks to properly to put this easy clean material on top of the existing upholstery. Voila! See pic at left, but I think it looks great and it has worked really well.

when we couldn't stand it anymore we'd post it on Final challenge was the rug. I kind of let it go and just let it get dirtier and dirtier assuming that freecycle and then figure out what to do next. I tried using a smaller cotton rug under the girls' chairs but even though that could go in the wash it was a pain to wash and dry it all the time.

The answer has come in the form of Home Depot. They sell industrial grade carpet in sizes of 6X8 and 9X12. This stuff isn't the most gorgeous thing ever, but it's indestructible, can be hosed off and I smelled all the options they had there and I couldn't detect any nasty smells. When the grand total for my nice multi-hued 6X8 rug came to $23 bucks at the register, the sales woman asked "that's a great deal, where did you find it? are there more back there? I want to get one."

It was a long process, but we're finally in a state where the girls can feed themselves and the food can fly everywhere and I can just sit back and let them learn and make a mess and not stress about the clean up.

Green product IQ

There is a lot of info out there about making green consumer choices. But a friend is working on a new site that is supposed to help people on the go make quick decisions about one product over another - very mobile device friendly for people who are literally standing in front of two brands of baby shampoo in the store and want the skinny on their green cred. Anyway, he just sent along a link to a quiz that they've set up to pique interest. I scored 5 out of 11. Give it a whirl if you'd like.

Lessons of a part-time working mom in a creative field

Keeping up your creative side is a challenge being a mom, especially daunting if it's a required part of your job. As a new twin mom it's pretty tough because keeping everyone happy often means finding ROUTINES that work and sticking with them. I spent some time the other day thinking about what has helped me the most with keeping up my creative side when working and when mom-ing. This is what I came up with:

+ Seek out other part-time moms to hang out with at least once in a while. I found myself overly critical of myself when I was always with just SAHM or else moms who worked outside their house full-time. Even though it was my own issues hearing what they were up to made me feel I wasn't giving either enough attention to my girls or enough creativity to my job. I know it was silly, but hey, post-partum/nursing hormones and being sleep-deprived doesn't really lead to being even-keeled. So checking in with other part-timers is great.

+ When you have time to read again, find a book that talks about the various stages of parenting. Yes, I mean all the way through the empty nest. I kind of stumbled on one at the library and took it home and, admittedly, just skimmed it but,man, it makes me feel better when I feel like I'm just not going to get through the next few hours. Helps me give me some concrete image of the distant future to keep it all in perspective.

+ Get rid of as much technology as possible on the days you're not working. It took me a little while to figure this out, but throwing myself into watching the girls on the days that I did - i.e. no email except during their naps and avoiding the phone - helped improve my performance in both realms. I will admit to trying to write an email about a story idea to my editor with unhappy kids in the background and no one won in those cases.

+ See this time as an opportunity to learn what you really love about your job and try to just focus on that as much as possible.

+ Keep up your creativity when you're not working OR watching the babies. For instance, date night should always be somewhere new and different. When you're exhausted going somewhere familiar sounds so appealing. But I've found even though I'm usually initially annoyed with my husband for insisting on going to a new neighborhood or town for dinner when we do get away from the apartment, I'm always really glad for the new perspective.

Coupon code for the Better World Bookstore

This is a great online used bookstore and I wanted to post this discount here. For 10% off at checkout, use the coupon code: LITERACY.

BLOG COMING ATTRACTION: with all the rising prices, I've been thinking a lot about how to feed my girls nutritious, organic food but keep our bills down. That'll be the theme of my posts for a few weeks to come. For instance, my plan is to make and calculate which toddlers foods it pays to make from scratch given the premium on organic processed foods. I'll also write about my attempts to waste less food given the seemingly random tastebuds of a toddler.

Politics twin mom style

Confession: I work in the news business, but sometimes when I'm around informed friends I wonder what ever happened to the days when I really followed every lead and every bit of information. After I saw this SNL "political commercial" - and I saw it online, I could never stay up that late anymore - I felt like I had a pretty good grasp of where things stood. Enjoy:

Fitting multiple kids (with car seats!) into a small car

We can't be the only ones with a compact car who have wondered how on earth you can keep your small wheels and potentially transport 3 kids around. Car seats just seem so big. So far we've been very fortunate with our setup. Two Britax Roundabouts in a Honda Civic. With twins anything bigger, like the Marathon, just wasn't an option because we couldn't fit them in rear facing. We are still able to use the middle back seat to squeeze in one small adult - and often do - but I've wondered what would happen if we needed to get another car seat back there. Or even to make it comfortable for the adult back there.

I just learned about this Radian Car Seat line which I would have opted for in a SECOND over our Roundabouts if I'd known about them when we were buying. They're each about 1.25 inches narrower than the Roundabouts but add it up and that's 2.5 inches less car seat which in a compact car's back seat is significant. An added bonus of the Radian seats is that the bottom folds up into the back for really easy travel. They're supposed to have a great safety record too. Oh, and the sides aren't as high as the Roundabout's. Initially that seems like a nice comfort feature but it makes it difficult to maneuver the girls into their seats given the car's low headroom and if they squirm I often end up accidentally bonking them while getting them in their seats. Poor girlios!

And I just want to put in a plug for making due with a small car and twins. At first I was worried with the strollers and gear we'd be squeezed too tight. I don't rule out getting a second bigger car when we do more carpooling and traveling around with their friends but for now this is perfect.

Word of the day: Upcycle

The word upcycle has apparently been around since 2002 - it was coined by the authors of this book. But I've only recently been coming across it and kinda like it so thought I'd pass it on. A basic definition is to use waste products to make useful things. Of course I always thought that using waste products anew was the whole REUSE part of the R-R-R scenario. But I think the subtext of the word upcycle is up(scale)(re)use. I guess "haute reuse" didn't really have that earthy ring.

Here's a Canadian upcycle site with ideas for crafts for kids.

Green Mother's Day Gift Ideas

There are lots of sites suggesting green mother’s day gifts like local flowers, organic chocolates and organic cosmetics. But instead of just “organic-izing” the traditional options, here are some ideas that might appeal to someone who is working hard to lead a simple, green lifestyle. Of course I think crafty items are the most uplifting gifts from kids. Like pottery customized at places like this, or - for anyone in the Bay Area - the Institute of Mosaic Art has a great shop inside with staff that are really helpful at coming up with beginner projects.

That said, here are some other thoughts for green mothers day gifts:

• A subscription to Bookswim – the Netflix of books!
  
• If she's keeping on top of the kids all the time how does she have time to remember to charge her phone? Try a solar powered battery charger for her cell phone.
  
• This is a gadget for someone who is WAY into saving energy and is probably also a bit of a tech geek. It's called a Kill a Watt. It kinda looks like fun as well as useful. That's what my husband is getting for Dad's Day.
  
• A movie pass or theater gift certificate for two that ensures she’ll HAVE to get out of the house for some adult time
• A mushroom growing kit. My husband got his impossible to buy for Aunt one of these for the holidays and she loved it. Sent pictures of the mushrooms she grew to the whole family.
• If she doesn’t have AAA or other roadside assistance, maybe she’d like a subscription to the Better World Club. Or maybe if she has AAA she’d like to switch! The Better World Club is the only environmentally friendly auto club – which means it lobbies on behalf of cleaner air and it also offers roadside assistance for bicyclists!
• Insulated coffee mug (stainless lined – not plastic which can leach into hot drinks)
• SIGG water bottle
• If her pans are starting to wear out, a nonstick pan without a Teflon coating would be nice. Le Creuset is unfortunately very pricey and heavy but one of the few good options to Teflon that I’ve found out there. I was hopeful about the Martha Stewart GreenPan but it gets very mixed reviews on-line

Getting back on the sleep train

I thought that after months of constantly interrupted sleep with our infant twins, I would be the one sleeping like a baby when they could finally make it through the night. Not so! My partner was another story - wouldn't wake no matter how hard I'd try to get his company. From talking to friends I know there are a lot of couples out there with different sleep patterns. This Bert and Ernie Sesame Street sketch certainly rang true for me and was a good 3-1/2 minute laugh break:

(Have I mentioned how much I love surfing YouTube for entertainment? Low environmental impact, cheap to boot and keeps you connected with the creative world outside.)

Public transit with kids, babies, twins

My girls and I have taken the buses a bit, though mostly with their Dad, too. They've also hit the rails a few times. I think public transportation is a great activity with kids... besides being a new experience they get to interact with lots of people and things that "go" are always a hit. So I'm trying to integrate that with our outing plans a bit more.

It does take a few tries to get right. For instance knowing whether the buses will let you get on with an open stroller is key (AC Transit (in SF East Bay) says YES, NY City buses, NO). Definitely traveling off peak is key so you can have more room is important. With twins I favor carrying one in a pack and pushing just a single stroller. And in our area, going from the East Bay to SF, I tend to favor the transbay bus over BART, but that's because we can just walk to the bus and you don't have to deal with any elevators that may or may not be in service.

I noticed this Public Transportation site a few months back, and thought it looks like a handy thing. It offers comprehensive information about transit systems nationwide. I'm thinking that when we are traveling riding the bus with the girls could be a fun activity.

Getting a funny odor/smell out of SIGG bottles...

... or probably any metal water bottle for that matter.

I love our SIGG bottles, but occasionally if I leave my water bottle half full in a warm car it gets a funny moldy smell or taste. I've found using hot water and soap fades that. But then I went and left milk for the girls in a bottle and forgot about it. The sour milk smell just would not leave.

I tried the trusty water and vinegar approach. Filled the bottle up 1/8th of the way with white vinegar and then the rest of the way with water (same basic solution I use for cleaning off toys that need it). Closed the cap, shook it and let it stand almost a day. The terrible odor was gone when I rinsed the vinegar solution out. I'm sure it would work wonders on the plain old moldy issue.

In a way I wish it hadn't worked because I wanted to test out this other cure I'd heard about: denture cleaning tablets. It's supposed to be a cure all for SIGG bottle smell. My one reservation is that it's basically bleach in a fizzy matrix. Wasn't sure about how I felt about putting bleach into the girlio's water bottle. That caveat aside, you can sanitize the bottles for far less cost by just using a teaspoon of bleach in a liter of water (can add 1 tsp. baking soda too). The whole denture cleaning tablet trick is what some people use to clean out those Camelbak water hydration systems.

Oh, and apparently the risks of bacterial and fungal growth are higher if you use the bottle with a drink that contains sugars. So make sure the wash out the bottles immediately and well after putting juice or other sugary drinks in them.

Hope that's helpful... (though I'm running the risk of turning this into a blog of all things smelly).

Organizing a toddler friendly seder

I finally get around to this post as Passover draws to a close. But hopefully this will be useful to someone for next year.

We had 11 adults and 6 toddlers (from 14 to 20 months old) at the seder this year. My husband was pretty intent on hitting all the key elements, too, so we did a little figuring ahead of time on how to do this and keep the kids engaged.

First, finding the right haggadah was key. Some attendees were brought up in Orthodox households, some have very little connection to Jewish traditions. We're pretty happy with the haggadah we ended up with: Family Haggadah: A Seder for All Generations by Elie Gindie. It has Hebrew for those who prefer, plus English translation AND transliterations. The musical notes are written out for the song lyrics in case you have instruments around. There are great pictures to hold kids' attention and a pretty pared down service. People arrived at 4:30 to get situated, we started the seder at a little after 5 and wrapped things up by around 7:30/8.

This was our order of events:

• Gather around to bless the children
• Candle lighting and then promptly taking the candles behind a baby gate.
• Kiddush - drink wine to steel your nerves for all to come
• Four questions - sung by all, all musical numbers at this age are a hit
• The Passover Story - main points
• Plagues - have photocopies of an illustrated version of the ten plagues for parents to show the children
• Dayenu - another great sing along
• Discuss/bless/eat the symbolic foods - even one year olds can take part in this. Just use potatoes instead of parsley (OK by ashkenazim) and make sure the charoset is nut-free. We didn't give them the maror.
  
• MEAL - ours was toddler friendly and veggie. I'll post about that another time.
  
• Post-meal highlights (reconvening on the living room floor): singing Eliyahu Hanavi and opening the door, and a chorus of Next Year in Jerusalem. Chad Gadya for tots with real stamina.

Only other notes for a baby/toddler friendly service. The stuffed seder plate and matzah set (above right) was fun. And my girls are way into this new children's book "Five Little Gefiltes". It's a Five Little Ducklings parody that's part early Yiddish indoctrination and part Where's Waldo played out with gefilte fish. Whaddaya talkin'?! Go and get it!

I'm Back

One of the first "New Life's Resolutions" I made when the girls were born was that I wouldn't make excuses or apologies as a mom of young twins. Suffice it to say, life has thrown a few curve balls the past month and a half. I'm glad to be back blogging...

Mama inspiration

Literary Mama. This is a great site for fictional and journalistic takes on motherhood. Besides original work in the form of articles, stories and blogs it also has lists like this: good essential reads that may or may not be parenting related, but are probably easy to plow through even with the distractions of little ones.

And if you feel really inspired you can submit your own work!

SIGG water bottle discount code / coupon

I recently got one of these SIGG water bottles. They're great for storing water without it getting any odor or weird taste. Plus they're recyclable when they get to the end of their useful life, but I mostly just like them because they don't give the water an off taste (at least if you clean them daily. For the times when you forget to empty them and they get a little funny here's there best solution I've found to the problem).

If you order some online from the company, you can get 10% off by typing in this code:

loyal123107

They have them in sizes for kids, though my girls haven't quite gotten the hang of the spouts they use.

Netflix DVDs for toddler parents

So I hadn't thought of using my Netflix subscription in a parenting way - other than for total distraction. But I just found these potentially useful DVD's there (*I think you have to have a Netflix account to follow these links):

The Happiest Toddler on the Block
My Baby Can Talk: First Signs
I Can Go Potty: Potty Training for Boys and Girls
The Baby Whisperer
Infant and Child CPR

Lots of music and activity videos too. As a side note, I was heartened to see that after I clicked on "The Happiest Toddler on the Block" Netflix suggested I might like "The Flowering of Human Consciousness." Clearly I'm not the only one who puts Dr. Harvey Karp in the "slightly whoo whoo" category.

XO computer delay

First, this very right-on remark from the designer of the XO computer, Mary Lou Jepsen:

"People are trying to make a buck off of green. Green is actually cheaper. Green isn't about (sigh) buying more stuff."

Unfortunately delivery of her cheaper, green product has been delayed. A relative got our fam one of the laptops for the holidays and we've been eagerly awaiting its arrival. Obviously some have now reached their intended targets because they're popping up in droves on eBay (and at inflated prices).

But we're still waiting for our love from the XO. When it arrives I'm looking forward to posting about it.

In the meantime these were some of the points she made about how other computers could green up, according to the OLPC (one laptop per child) news blog:

• Consume less power. According to Mary Lou if every computer in the consumer market had the power footprint of the XO, their total energy consumption could fall 95%. Also by reducing the necessary power it needs to run, you put the laptop under the threshold that can be provided by some clever and surprisingly low tech sources, as cows, bicycles or cheap solar panels.
• Expand the lifetime of the product. Surprisingly enough that's a factor rarely factored in when figuring out the impact of a product: how long will it last?
• Repairing is more important than recycling. If disposed the XO battery can be "consumed by soil bacteria" but Mary Lou has a bigger point: by making the laptop easier to service will prevent it from being dumped in the first place.

Do you Zwaggle?

Admittedly there are a lot of ways to share kids stuff you've outgrown: friends who are expecting, freecycle, craigslist, eBay, the marketplace on Berkeley Parents Network (if you're in the Bay Area). But just in case...

Here's another option. Though there's a twist. It's called Zwaggle and the idea is sort of a virtual mom swap meet. You post what you have and assign a point value to it. Other parents claim your stuff and then you can shop for other peoples' stuff with your accumulated points. For the big stuff you obviously have to be in the same geographic locale for it to be reasonable. But the site does partner with FedEx to make shipping things like clothes and such possible.

The usefulness of this site probably depends on the resources that already exist in your geographic area... but do check it out!

Waffles, baby!

Waffles are a terrific fast food for kids: if you can load them with fruits and/or veggies - and also milk and yogurt - you're covering lots of nutritional bases. Plus you can freeze leftovers and just pop them in the toaster when you want them warmed up. EASY!

Here are three recipes I've adapted for our kids. Because there is canola oil instead of butter they don't have the usual crispiness of waffles, but we don't mind. Also they have less sugar than usual with the idea that we adults can pour a little syrup on to sweeten them up. Finally, they are made on a waffle iron like the one pictured at left. Enjoy!

Kabocha Squash Spice Waffles
Makes almost 3 large (12 small) square waffles

2/3 cup smashed, roasted Kabocha Squash (I’m sure other squash would be fine, too, I just like Kabocha for it’s rich flavor)
½ cup plain full-fat yogurt
½ cup milk
2 eggs
2 tablespoons canola oil
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 tablespoons brown sugar
¾ cups plus 2 tablespoons white whole wheat flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
¼ teaspoon baking soda
¼ teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon cinnamon
¼ teaspoon ground nutmeg

Preheat the waffle iron.

In a large bowl combine well the squash, yogurt, milk, eggs, oil, vanilla and brown sugar. Stir in the baking powder, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, and nutmeg. Add flour and stir just until combined.

Pour onto a waffle iron coated with non-stick spray. Follow the manufacturer’s directions for baking.


Carrot-Whole Wheat-Raisin Waffles
Makes 3 big waffles (12 little squares)

1 cup milk
2 eggs
2 tablespoons canola oil
¼ cup raisins
2 tablespoons sugar
¾ cup white whole wheat flour
¼ teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon cinnamon
¼ teaspoon ground nutmeg
¼ cup quick oatmeal
½ cup + packed fine grated carrots (about 2 medium carrots)

Whisk together milk, eggs, oil and raisins and set aside 15 minutes to plump.

Preheat the waffle iron.

While raisins are plumping combine flour, sugar, baking powder, salt, cinnamon and nutmeg. Mix with a fork. Gently stir in oats and carrots.

Pour onto the waffle iron and follow the manufacturer’s instructions for baking.

Oatmeal-Buttermilk-Blueberry Waffles
Makes 16 little square waffles

2 cups quick oatmeal
2 cups buttermilk

Combine in a bowl and let stand to soften, about 10 minutes – less if in a real hurry. Softer it is, the tastier it is. Even overnight is fine.

Add in and stir:
3 eggs
2 tablespoons sugar
4 tablespoons canola oil
dash of vanilla

Stir in:
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt or less

Once that’s combined add:
½ cup white whole wheat flour
1-1/2 cups frozen organic wild blueberries (I bet you could substitute 1-1/2 cups of almost any other fruit or veggie, like raisins or finely shredded zucchini, etc)

Spray a light coat of oil or Pam on a preheated waffle iron. Put a heaping cup of batter on the iron and bake as directed. You end up with 4 big waffles, 16 little squares. Enjoy!

Follow-up to Pottery Barn Rugs Smell: Sign a Petition!

After writing this post about an awful smell from two Pottery Barn rugs we bought, I was amazed at how many hits I got from people Google-ng "pottery barn rug odor."

So I created this online petition... anyone who is having a similar problem can sign it. And please do sign if you have experienced this issue. It asks for your name and email, though you can click "private" and only your name will ever be displayed along with any comments should you choose to leave them. When I get a critical mass of signatures I will be sending a hard copy to Williams-Sonoma, the parent company of Pottery Barn. My sense is a lot of people have tried to take this up with them piecemeal, but maybe if they see collective unhappiness they will actually DO something about quality control.

A little more about my experience with this: We purchased a 5'X8' Pottery Barn Rug for our kids' room and a few months later, when the weather started heating up the burnt rubber smell was unbearable. We were allowed to exchange it, but the replacement rug had the same problem. After some persistence on my part (a real pain to deal with while having 6 month old twins), they took the replacement back and gave us a full refund. Now a much smaller rug we bought at the same time has begun to smell in our office. It's much milder and I wouldn't have ever guessed it was the rug, except for my prior experience. In fact, even with what happened before I suspected some overheating electrical plug before I thought to sniff the back of the small rug. Bingo!

UPDATES [July 15, 2010]:

1. Thanks for all the signatures and posts about your own experiences. I wanted to add that it appears not just to be Pottery Barn rugs… I’ve been in friends’ houses where I could smell that telltale odor and it was not a Pottery Barn rug, though it was a wool rug with a canvas backing.

2. In my non-parenting blog life I am a journalist, and my experience with this post has piqued my interest in the issue of indoor air quality. If any of you have a rug that you’re planning to get rid of, I would be happy to take it off your hands for possible air quality testing – hopefully it is a smaller size or else you’re located in the SF Bay Area where I could do a pick up. If you’re interested in reaching me about this you can email me, Rae, at potterybarnrugpetition [at] yahoo [dot] com. Thank you!

Twinsight #7: Breastfeeding twins advice

Gimmee your ear!

I had a hard time finding really useful info on breastfeeding twins, so here’s my perspective from the other side. The first year is behind me and now my worries are about how to wean the girls. Who would have thought!

+ NO PRESSURE – Because I found one of the keys to getting my milk flowing was to relax, I think it’s really good to go into the whole experience with a "we’ll see" attitude. A partner who is on alert to give you shoulder massages and refill water at every feeding in the very beginning is a plus.

+ DON’T LET A (SHORT) STAY IN NICU THROW THINGS OFF – I can’t speak to a prolonged stay, but one of my daughters was low birth weight and spent her first 3 days in NICU for monitoring while we were in the other hospital room. I had the NICU nurse call my room before she would give her a bottle. About every other feeding I was able to make the trek over to NICU to let my daughter suck on me for about 10 minutes before they gave her the bottle.

+ KEEP A FEEDING LOG FOR EACH BABY FROM THE BEGINNING – And that means output as well as input. Take a few minutes to make an Excel spreadsheet (or hand draw and photocopy) charts for each baby before their birth. Include time of feeding, amount, and type of feeding and then also include boxes where you can note the times of dirty or wet diapers. When breastfeeding you have no idea how much the babies are eating unless you’re going to weigh them constantly. A much easier way is to gauge appropriate nutrition by how many wet and dirty diapers they’re having. Our girls were released at 4 lbs. 1 oz and 5 lbs. 1 oz. (they had lost some of their birth weight) and we were required to check with our pediatrician the next day. When I went in and showed her their chart of dirty and wet diapers she said I was free to exclusively breastfeed based on their output.

+ LINE UP ANY FRIENDS WHO ARE MOMS (THOSE WHO WORK IN OB OR MATERNAL HEALTH FIELDS ARE A PLUS) – I had one OB friend who came to the hospital. While the nurses were very helpful, my friend was the one who had the time to really show me and walk me through the football hold for an entire feeding. Football hold was key with my tiny babies. After I went home, a new mom friend of mine had committed to coming over every day for the first week. She helped me get hooked up to the breast pump and sat there with me saying encouraging things. I think regularly using the breast pump in the beginning really helped my milk flow.

+ DRINK LIKE A MARATHONER – The pediatrician who checked us out of the hospital said he told breastfeeding moms of singletons to drink at least 1 liter of water a day. He told me to drink at least 3 liters. Sounds crazy, especially since your bladder isn’t always all that it should be right after birth, but I followed his advice and think it helped a lot.

+ DON’T PUT TOO MUCH STOCK IN NIPPLE CONFUSION – In my experience it wasn’t worth driving myself crazy trying to have my girls suck on fingers rather than pacifiers in the early days to avoid “nipple confusion.” I did my best on that front, but the pacifier was a lifesaver at times in the early weeks and no harm to breastfeeding in my experience. Ditto for bottles. I took advantage of that milk I was pumping in the beginning to get a little feeding relief. Of course if there appears to be a problem with nipple confusion definitely reverse course.

+ SPEAKING OF NIPPLES – They really can hurt. Breast feeding for me was not easy in the beginning at all. Even maybe the first few months of it. But it can become second nature and I really enjoyed the experience. If you think you might too then try to stick with it. So while breastfeeding those first few weeks, put a book of humorous essays in a cookbook stand so you can read something distracting. Turn the radio up. Ask for a shoulder massage. Just do whatever helps you not focus on the initial discomfort (if you have it).

Finally, here’s a list of tips from La Leche League. And this is the book "Mothering Multiples" that I read before the babies’ birth and found it very helpful.

Now tandem feeding is a whole other challenge. Another time...

One mom who stays creative writing about mom stuff

This New York Magazine article introduces the terms “sanctimommy” (a self-righteous mom) and “Über-boober” (a self-righteous mom obsessed with breast-feeding). It's written by a journalist who became a mom and has done a number of pieces on mothering. The article is a fun read to stumble on - all about a NY website called UrbanBaby and the foibles of those who post there. A similar piece could probably be written about the Berkeley Parents Network. Thing is, the story made me realize anew how much easier it is to get creative and fresh with the subject you are immersed in.

I'm definitely still looking for the secrets of moms who've managed to create a small creative work bubble apart from their new overarching identity. Of course they're probably hard to find because there wouldn't be any indication they produced their book, story, art, etc. while parenting a xx month old.

Oh, and you can see the UrbanBaby message board the article talks about here.