Thought for the holidays

So we're all managing holiday chaos, I'm sure. Fortunately things are pretty low drama here, although there was a family moment today while my mom and I were trying to coordinate for a joint party. She told me I was being hard on her, which I know I often am. But I REALLY wasn't this time and she sounded honestly upset. So I called back to ask my dad if everything was OK. Sure enough it wasn't about me at all.

"Ah well," he said. Then he kind of sighed and chuckled. "We're just adjusting to married life."

And they've been married 40 years. Turns out they'd had a disagreement over a shopping list. But my dad's words hit a chord with me. Life is so full of adjustments. Good to never stop being open to them.

Just a thought headed into the heart of the holidays.

Twinsight #9: sleep training twins

Gimmee your ear!

This was our approach to sleep training our twins. We didn't want to do a total cry it out thing. But we also weren't ready to just follow their lead and not sleep all night.

Tied up in their sleep training was the fact that they were still snacking in the night at 6 months. So what we did was get up with them when they cried, but walk them around until an appointed hour for the feeding, every other night pushing it out a half hour later. So the first night they would feed at 3:30 but then the next night if they got up before 4 we walked around with them until they nursed at 4. The next night ditto, til 4. The next night we walked around with them till 4:30, the next night ditto, till 4:30.

They did actually sleep longer and longer when they realized they weren't going to get food before that. The following night was 5 am. Once they got to 5 am, I then used the tactic of reducing the minutes of the feeding. If they were both nursing about 10 minutes the first night, every night I reduced the amount of time they could nurse by one minute. I think once we got down 2, or maybe 3?, minutes they ended up dropping the nighttime feeding. But they did wake up early - between 5:30 and 6 am -- and did for a long time after. But they were sleeping through the night. It seems like a really involved process. But I couldn't bear to hear them cry and so that was our (exhausting in the short run, but worked in the long run) solution.

Key point... work out your plan for the night with your partner BEFORE going to bed. Waking up to screaming babies when you're exhausted doesn't set the stage for terribly kindhearted conversations. So much better to know exactly what you're doing and then there's nothing to argue about.

Give a gift, support my friends!

The economic downturn has me doing a turn around on my usual, buy nothing attitude for the holidays. This year I'm trying to support friends' businesses. Here are two with reasonably priced, fun stuff who also sell on the internet:

Little Miss Matched - my friend from high school started this company about 5 years ago. He started with socks in packs of three, which are still the best all-around gift pick on the site. BUT these mismatched gloves (also in packs of three) are pretty brilliant because if you lose one, you're still good to go. And I always get compliments on them when I wear them.


Krank Press - This stuff is gorgeous letter press. And it's useful. Who doesn't need a pack of Thank You or cool novelty cards for the holidays? Also, Nor's wildlife calendars and cards are really great. We always stay with Nor when we go down to LA and I'm always wowed by her letterpress operation set up in the garage and front room of her little house. And she pulls this off on top of a demanding job in architecture.

Twin girl silliness - an ad for Best Buy in Canada

It's kinda funny. Plus, Best Buy was the only big box retailer that was vaguely helpful on the story I had to do this week. Thank you to them for not being scared of the media.